Pregnant off a one night stand with friend

Shawna - posted on 03/03/2014 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Soo..I met my baby's father in a bar we have the same friends.we ended up getting pregnant.he wanted to be in the life..then ignored me for 2 months even if I text or called about the dr appointments...then he wanted to be there I didn't want to be rude so I let him.now we don't get along or agree about anything,.and he's allways out at the bars and drinking and even has a black eye rite now from a bar fight...I try and be nice but he makes it so hard..what shpukd I do about the baby's last name and custody??

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Jodi - posted on 03/03/2014

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Are you still pregnant? or has the baby been born? With regard to custody, you don't get to say what you want, that is a decision made by the courts. You don't get to dictate his life outside of your child.

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Kayla - posted on 03/03/2014

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The same exact thing happened to me.I got pregnant from my coworker during a one night stand.I would definitely go and get child support because this guy seems wishy washy.I would also give the child your last name.I unforunately felt bad for the father so I changed my baby's last name,and now Im regretting it.

Shawna - posted on 03/03/2014

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Oh yes tons of family and friends that's are sooo excited for her arrival :) aww thanks that means a lot!

Rebekah - posted on 03/03/2014

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If he doesn't seem that interested in the baby maybe you can offer informal visits instead of a custody agreement, trust me once your little one is born you won't want to leave him/her with anyone who doesn't intimately know her routines and quirks. The first few weeks of motherhood are really tough, do you have family to help you out?? I hope so. Many women would have made a different choice in your situation so I really respect your strength and determination, it will be difficult but so worth it! Good luck with your little sweetie.

Ev - posted on 03/03/2014

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And as soon as that is all done, I would go to court and set visitation, child support and custody up...all separate issues....to cover those things. If you do not do that he will avoid anything he can without it court ordered. This protects all of you but most important the baby. It protects you so that you have custody set up, visitation, and child support coming in to help make sure baby has all he or she will need. It protects the father because his voice is also heard and he can be made to help care for the child and have his relationship with baby. Most important, it protects the child, gives him or her the relationships with both parents, makes sure child has needs met, and that the parents are held accountable for what they do and do not do.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/03/2014

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I would personally definitely put him on the birth certificate, but I would give him my last name. Not his.

Shawna - posted on 03/03/2014

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Ok thank you soo much!!!yea I could never keep the father away as much as I don't like him.i feel much better

Jodi - posted on 03/03/2014

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If you are planning on him being in your child's life, you are totally doing the right thing. Make sure he also does the right thing and helps support the child financially.

Shawna - posted on 03/03/2014

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My plan is too put him on the birth certificate cus he says he wants to be in the life...but I want to keep my last name since we were never together and he already has already left once.i want him to be in the child life with split custody.even thought he has told me tons of times in the stray he didn't even want a baby and wanted me to get an abortion...I just want to know if I'm doing the rite thing.

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