Pregnant teenage daughter ?

Susan - posted on 07/20/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

6

0

0

Hello, I have an 18 year old daughter who just graduated high school and is pregnant. She feels that abortion or adoption are out of the question. I don't think that she is emotionally mature enough to raise a baby. Her stepdad and I are exhausted from both raising large families in the past (she is tthe youngest) and running a business. We are both afraid that she will not be able to deal with the baby and then we will be left to raise him or her. I welcome any advise. Thank you! SL.

5 Comments

View replies by

Susan - posted on 07/28/2012

6

0

0

PS: my reply goes out to all three of you who took the time to write to me. Thank you!

Susan - posted on 07/28/2012

6

0

0

Sorry that my reply to you is so late! I thank you for your well thought out message to me and believe you are so right, I have to stay positive. We love our daughter so much and are there for her and the baby 100%, but since she has given us the news my emotions have been so up and down; I am worried almost sick one moment and the next moment I am dreaming about how wonderful it will be to have a grandchild!

Thank you again!

SL

Dove - posted on 07/20/2012

11,761

0

1349

She's 18. The choices are entirely up to her.

I will tell you of my stepsister who got pregnant with what was 'basically' a one night stand when she was 18. She was living with her father at the time, but came and moved in with my dad and her mom when she was about 6 months pregnant. She lived with them until my niece was 6, but by the time my niece was a year old.... Stepsis had a night job (to be home with her daughter during the day) and was taking online classes. Bio 'dad' has never met my niece (entirely by his choice), but stepsis met her husband at work and they've been happily married and raising my niece together for almost 2 years now.

It's not an ideal situation, but it's perfectly doable if your daughter will step up and do this. Your daughter needs your support and may need your help, but this is her child and her decisions.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/20/2012

21,273

9

3058

Well, I guess what it comes down to, is what do you expect from her? Do you want her to move out? Go to college? Get a job, to support herself and the baby?

Also, what are you willing to do to help her succeed? Watch the baby while she goes to college and she takes over when classes are done for the day?

Sit down with her and talk about her best options without you and your husband being financially responsible for her and her baby, nor the caregivers.

She is legally an adult at this point, and really the decision is hers. I am glad she told you about it, I am sure she is scared. What about the boyfriend/father situation? Could you shed some light on that?

Jaime - posted on 07/20/2012

4,427

24

197

You don't think she is emotionally mature enough, and you might well be right that she's not quite there, but regardless she is determined to see the pregnancy through. She's got a lot of decisions ahead of her, apart from just the baby, she will have to consider finances, job, childcare, where to live/raise the baby etc. It might be to her and your benefit to sit down and discuss these responsibilities, rather than assuming or fearing you will be left to raise the baby if she is not able to handle it on her own. She's young, but it's really not good to form pre-conceived notions of how things will turn out because she and the baby WILL need your support. Talk with her, not to her about taking care of herself. Help her by answering her questions or suggesting things she might consider doing to make her transition into motherhood easier: prenatal courses, popular books that answer common pregnancy/baby questions, informed doctors visits (asking questions so she knows what to expect), etc., getting started on prenatal vitamins, changing her diet to include those foods that are essential for pregnancy health. I also don't think it will do you any good to worry about a negative outcome. The baby isn't even born yet and already you're anticipating the worst. Prepare for the worst, but don't plan on that being the case. Lastly, let her know where you stand, and what you're willing to do to help her. Find a common ground so that you can all give the baby the best upbringing he/she deserves :)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms