Amanda - posted on 06/28/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )
I have a pregnant 16 year old. Please help!
I was married for more than 20 years. I left my husband after finding out he cheated. That was after I spent a year trying to make it work. But I couldn't move past the infidelity. I moved out with my daughter and life was a struggle but we were ok. She started dating and was seemingly adjusted to our life together. She started having sex. I thought we had moved past all this and she forgot about the boyfriend.
I started dating someone and fell head over heels. My daughter liked him also. We ended up moving in together. Two weeks later I find out she is five weeks pregnant. She had a new boyfriend she didn't tell me about. They had been sneaking around while I was at work.
So nevertheless this man we live with accepted the pregnancy without hesitation. He was very supportive of everything.
My daughter got a job and I bought her a car in preparation for her new needs. I have been very supportive of her. I listen and try to understand her reasoning in all she does. This is a huge change!
My daughter started talking about moving in with this boy who still lives at home. She has also been trying to figure out a way for them to move in together. And they neither one work.
I have been trying to work with her and get her to understand things. Her attitude has become so intolerable. She looks at me and my fiance like she hates us.
We layed down the rules for after the baby is born. She would have to continue with school and keep her grades up, as well as keep her things and the babies things cleaned up. We also told her that the babies daddy would not be allowed to come and go whenever. That he could come when we were home. So she's angry and called me a stuck up b****!
She's complaining that we don't understand that she will need help with the baby. But she won't even try to understand that we don't want any more babies and we certainly don't want this other kid running around our house when we aren't home.
Needless to say the tension had become horrible at home. I sent her to stay with her grandparents for the rest of the summer. I told her she needed some time away to think about things. And I said she had a choice to stay there, or come back. But our rules still stand. I feel guilty for sending her away, but I am much more at ease. The tension has diminished dramatically. I miss her so much, but I still thinks she needs some time. Did I do the right thing? Am I handling it right?