Pregnant with ex's child

Amanda - posted on 07/16/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )




Hi everyone,

I've read a lot of stories that are similar to mine. Basically my ex and I have been dating for three months, and we split for two weeks before I found out I was pregnant and told him. He was hesitant at first but accompanied me to the doctor and ultrasound and then saying he wanted to keep the baby and start a family with me.

It wasn't until his mom found out and they had a row that he called me saying he doesn't love me anymore and the baby is a mistake and I should abort it and that he's leaving me and will not care for the child and will act as a donor if I decide to keep it.

I'm not earning a stable income that's good enough to support the child and the hormones are making me feel depressed and angry and there are days I don't even want to be pregnant anymore. I've been crying the whole of last week, terrified about being on my own. There are no government grants or assistance for unwed mothers in my country, and I've barely been out of university.

I don't know what to do.


Jodi - posted on 07/16/2016




According to this article, there is assistance available to single mothers:

This article also outlines entitlement to maternity leave and a child development account:

You need to talk to your Ministry of Family and Social Development.

In addition, you are absolutely entitled to receive some form of child support or child maintenance. Can you afford to talk to a lawyer about it?


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~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/18/2016




Do not have any direct contact with him any longer. Do what the others have said, and get a lawyer.

Sarah - posted on 07/16/2016




Then I'd pursue filing legally now, there must be some recourse for mothers with dead-beat dads. Call a lawyer.

Amanda - posted on 07/16/2016




I live in Singapore. He said he will disappear and just consider himself a sperm donor.

Ev - posted on 07/16/2016




First, are there places that do help unwed mothers in your country such as churches or other organizations? There has to be something out there than can help you? Second, what about your family? Can they let you come back home and help you until baby is here and you can go back to work and get on your feet to support your child? Third, once the child is born you can seek out custody, visitation and child support. It has to go through the courts but it will make the father responsible for his responsibilities. He may not like it but it is up to you about the abortion or keeping the baby based on what you either believe or feel like. Also if you decide not to keep the child see what you can do to put the child up for adoption. Fourth, right now you will not get any form of support from the father financially speaking because he can not be forced to do so.

What country are you in where they do not help unwed mothers? And I am sure that there are people there that have programs that do.

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