Prego with a married mans baby

Caitlin - posted on 08/21/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am almost 8 months prego.the father of my baby is married.he hasnt talked to me in months and hasnt really helped at all his wife told me that she wants him and her to be able to come to the hospital when my daughter is born.i really dont want them there.should i let them come and see her??she wants to co parent with me but wont let him talk to me i have to go through her is wrong of me to only deal with him i just dont get why she wants to be involved.

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Sarah - posted on 08/22/2016

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This boggles my mind;
"i just dont get why she wants to be involved"
Really? You slept with her husband! Talk about the ultimate betrayal. If this man is committed to saving his marriage then he is wise to not be in contact with his mistress. Try to put yourself in her shoes!

I agree with everyone. The delivery situation is up to you, but I don't blame this woman for not letting you and her husband interact. Be thankful she isn't going to treat your child horribly and good luck trying to parent with the couple.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/22/2016

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Great situation you got yourself into. Bravo for having sex with a married man. I find the wifes maturity refreshing. She wants to be a part of her step childs life. Most wives would want nothing to do with the mistresses baby. Consider yourself lucky.
If you don't want them at the birth, tell them that would be a lot of pressure and anxiety for you during birth. Let the nurse know under no circumstances you want them to visit, and they will comply. Once the baby is born, get a dna test done, get a lawyer, and figure out child support and visitation.

Dove - posted on 08/21/2016

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Totally agree w/ the other ladies. It is very big of her to still want to stay married to this man, but I can totally understand why she would not want him to be having contact w/ you. The two of you (you and the father) DO need to co-parent, but this woman will also be involved every step of the way (unless she decides to divorce him). The custody, visitation, and child support orders will be just between you and the child's father, but sleeping w/ a married man you had to know that his wife would likely be involved if a child was created.

You do not have to allow anyone to be at the birth that you do not want to be there... as the birth process is about YOU, but once the baby is born the father has an equal right to see his child... and allow his wife to see his child as well.

Michelle - posted on 08/21/2016

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I agree with Shawnn.
You decided to sleep with a married man and his wife is willing to stay with him. She is much stronger than me because I didn't stay with my cheating ex!!! I wouldn't be willing to be so involved with the child's life either.
I don't blame her not trusting him to be around you.
Like Shawnn said, get custody, visitation and child support sorted out in court. If you don't want them in the delivery room or visiting you at the hospital then that's your choice.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/21/2016

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Oh, gee...MAYBE she is having a bit of a trust issue with the man who cheated on her being alone with the woman who helped him do it?

Be happy that she is willing to accept the co parenting relationship. Get custody and visitation set in court. Who you allow at delivery is up to you, but in the interest of the child's raising, it will be better to accept that you slept with a married man (you don't really want me to say more in that regard, because women like you piss me off) and that his wife is going to be involved as this child's step mother.

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