MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Christy - posted on 03/02/2011
My issue about this, is WHO CARES, MEANING....
If someone stares at you weird at the store, tell them "Hi."
If they comment on what they think is your situation, tell them you appreciate their unwanted advice and move on. It's your life, not theirs and who give a rat's butt about their opinions!!!!!!!!!!!???????????
â« Shawnn âªâ«â« - posted on 03/02/2011
Since you seem to be doing a project of some sort, I will say this: I don't think that prejudice would be an appropriate word here. Perhaps "preconceived notion" would be the better phrase.
And, yes, people have preconceived notions about teen mothers. Most prevalently that they should have been smarter about theri decisions to have sex. Then, we look at our (not pregnant) teens and thank God that we've raised them to make better choices, and pray that they will continue to make good choices. I waited until I was 24 to have my first, but looked 15. I was stopped more times by people who thought they had the right to lecture me about my decisions, so I know it happens. Personally, I don't lecture, that's up to the parents of the teen in question. However, I do shake my head and wonder where their heads were, if they were even thinking when they made the poor choice to have pre-marital, unprotected sex. Or, for that matter if THEIR parents care so little about their child's future that they simply didn't care that the girl got pregnant in the first place.
Deborah - posted on 03/02/2011
I'm not a teen mom, but I've married the child of a teen mother and he's a wonderful husband and father. Yes, people are probably suspect of your abilities today, but you'll have the last laugh when you raise a beautiful, successful child as my mother-in-law did. Just hang in there - love your baby with all your heart and be proud of your accomplishment - it's the greatest of your life.
Tina - posted on 03/02/2011
I have gotten many opinions, at first how was I going to raise a baby at such a young age being a single mom. Most people thought I could not do it. Then when it came to dating they had opinions about how I should do that as well. When I would go shopping with my baby I would be watched in the stores to make sure I was not shop lifting. I think that most have a prejudice about some thing or other. But no one knows your situation but you. I think that People sometimes look at teen moms like they can not make it on there own and that they don't have what it takes to be a mom or at least a good one. I think it all depends on the person them selves and what they are going to make of the situation. I think that since we are coming into a time of women having children at a latter age it will only get worse for the ones who want a family at a younger age. Like I said I may not be a teen mom but I see and get the looks and comments that a lot of teen moms get. (well I did until the past few years.) I still go and talk to teen moms about their options since I released my baby and I hear the comments that they get today. from peers, family and total strangers. some of the things that people say can be very hurtful. I had one Girl come in crying her eyes out, because she had gone into a local store and while shopping a woman stopped her and asked when she was due. The girl answered. The next words that came out of this womens mouth still shock me and I am not surprised by much any more when it comes to what people say or do. she asked the girls age. She was 15 at the time. then she asked if she was in a relationship. The girl was not her baby was conceived, in a crime but since she does not believe in abortion she decided to release the baby for adoption. The lady not knowing any of this told the girl she was going to hell because she was carrying a child out of wedlock and should not be able to be seen in public because she was so young and she would give other young girls the wrong idea that it is okay to have kids so young. This women was in her 30's and was treating the 15 year old like the Scarlett Letter. Just because the girl was young does not mean that she should go around with a huge bright red A on her chest. Now like I said no one knows your situation but you. The girl was hurt and very worried about what people did think of her. How people can give opinions when not asked is beyond me. How they can judge without the full story is beyond me as well. I hope this helps answer your question a little better. Just remember if you are a teen mom don't let anyones opinion get in you way of how you want to raise your children as long as it is in a healthy way, along with that do not shun older moms or vet. moms they may have some useful advice. I know that as women we sometimes think we know it all (I am guilty of it too) but I think if we put ourselves in others shoes and situations we may have a better idea of where one is coming from. I have found that the more I talk to teen moms over the years That the comments are getting harsher when times are down (the economy) and people tend to look past or over things when they are going well. I also think that the Prejudice comes with the area that teen moms are in as well as how they carry them selves. I think that if a mom walks with her head down and looks ashamed people will think that she is. and have a tendency to kick her when she is down. I think that if a teen mom holds her head high and proud as she walks then it is less likely that people will put her down. Misery loves Company. I hope this answers your question a little better.
Stifler's - posted on 03/01/2011
I had my first baby at 21. If anything I feel prejudiced about my own situation. Other people say I'm doing awesome and wish they had kids.
I wish I'd finished uni and partied harder as a young person rather than settling down, moving out of home into a 4 bedroom house with a double lock up garage, having a landcruiser wagon and a commodore instead of MY OWN cool car registered in my own name and living in a flat with a pink doona and a small dog, massive wine glasses and a blender with a tap. I myself feel like I've missed out on those things. Who cares what other people say, it's how secure you feel with your own life.
Tina - posted on 03/01/2011
I am not a teen mom now but I have been in your shoes. I was 18 when I was pregnant with my first and I would get looks and stare. I released my son for adoption. (it's open and I still see him , but that is for another day.) I had my second when I was 21. I looked young at the time and had many people strangers give me there opinion and I still deal with it today now that my son is in the second grade. I get "Oh WOW you are a young mom. " or something along the lines of my age. I don't let it bother me any more. I have found that my son speaks for the both of us in his actions and the way I am raising him. Now when I do get the comments I say "Thank you, its a lot of work but I do my best." even when it comes to my age. I don't think people think about what they are saying, and how it may affect the person they are saying it to or about. Stand your ground and hold your head up high raise your child the best you can and it will show threw them all the hard work you put in. Maybe then people will stop with the stares and comments about the negative and start with the positive.
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