Monique - posted on 05/03/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )
Long story short
found out im 20wks pregnant and scheduled for an ultrasound midmay which will reveal the gender and any complications? I dont know this is my first child and dont know what to expect. I thought of abortion but pretty sure its too late and also am excited for a baby and a new healthy lifestyle. ive been addicted to cocaine for 3 years and have been using regularly up until after the pregnancy test so for 4months, im not a heavy drinker but have had some drinks within these months. I told my provider i had drinks but not about the cocaine because im ashamed of myself and i am quitting for the baby and dont want social services involved before i even have a chance to prove that my babys life is worth letting this addiction go. All my provider has told me was not to worry a lot of women have gone thru this (drinking). So i hop on the internet looking for answers questions stories advice..anything i could find but there was nothing but shaming and making me more scared about the effects than what i already am. I finally found this site and read a few stories everyone seems helpful and non judgemental so here i am sharing my story In hopes of popositivity. I am ready to change and give up my addiction for the life of my unborn child. I want everything to be ok and i hope i didnt do too much damage already. Im a new recovering mom and dont know what God is going to give me but i just want some reassurance from people whos been thru this or know someone whos been thru this. This hasnt been easy for me but each day its getting better i have been clean for 9 days now and im planning to stay clean for many more. I have a great support system but none know of my addiction...except for my boyfriend (babies father) which we are on Rocky terms right now but he is excited and loving of the new baby despite the terms we are on...thats a whole other story. Sorry if my story was all over i needed to let this out.