Private school long hair policy for boys

Holly - posted on 09/07/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I have a son who is in 3rd grade. His private school does not allow long hair on boys. I need help writing a letter of exception and/or a letter to help them consider a new hair policy.

He has been at the school for 4 years now and has had long hair since entering. He is around more children now so the principal had to enforce the policy. I guess other children want long hair like my child. Any suggestions?

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Jodi - posted on 09/08/2015

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As much as I agree that it is discriminatory that boys can't have long hair but girls can.....it is a private school and when you enrolled your child at this school, YOU agreed to comply with their rules (and I am sure this was one of them that you agreed to).

Sarah - posted on 09/09/2015

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I run into this issue often as my four kids all attend or have graduated from a very conservative Catholic school. We agree to follow the dress code in writing every year. My youngest loves nail polish, and they allow clear polish only. She has been sent home twice this year with a note to remove her polish (pale pink one time) by the next day or she will be disciplined. This summer she colored the tips of her hair with Kool-Aid. She did this in June and I figured it would fade away in a few weeks of swimming and sun. Well her tips are still stained and she was sent home last week with a letter informing us we have one week to get the color out, or cut her hair! It's too bad because it is pretty cute. Ok, I digress: More on topic with your child is my elder daughter got corn row braids and beads while we were in Jamaica over Christmas. She loved her hair, and technically it fit the dress code. I think she was in 3rd grade and the first day back to school the principal called me and told me her hairstyle would need to be returned to code by the end of the week. When I asked why? It was just a handful of braids and one bead on each braid. I was informed that it was "distracting", and yes our dress code forbid hairstyles that are distracting. It was a heartbreak, but not a battle I felt like fighting. I did not agree, but I complied.
I guess my point is; how important is your son's hair to him? Offer a compromise to the school. Maybe he can wear it pulled back in a low ponytail or braided? Are there other component of the uniform policy that are not enforced? If they are going to crack down on your child, they do at least need to be consistent.
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Sarah - posted on 09/25/2015

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I'd like to know what you decided to do? did you cut his hair, find a compromise?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/22/2015

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You chose to enroll your child into a private school. If you don't like their rules, change schools.

Michelle - posted on 09/09/2015

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I agree with Jodi and Dove.
If it was a public school I would say petition for change but it's not.
You chose to send your child to that school and would have know the dress code before he started. Just because it hasn't been enforced until now doesn't mean they will change it.
You also need to be careful because if you cause too much fuss then they all of a sudden not have a spot for your child anymore. They could see you as a "trouble maker" and ask you to remove him. That's what private school can and sometimes will do. Is it really worth getting on the wrong side for some hair?
If you don't want your son to get a haircut then you may will need to look at changing schools. All the private schools I know don't allow boys hair to touch their collar and it's always been that way.

Suzanne - posted on 09/08/2015

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Im a mom that has a child with long hair and he wears it in braids going back,
As I explained to school when they talk about his hair I shut them up real quick when I say
Look at his background he is Native American indian and African American it is part of his culture after I express for them to look into the history and cultural beliefs , so maybe you need to go at it with more than just my son likes long hair. ..

Dove - posted on 09/08/2015

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If the policy is that boys can not have long hair and your son wants long hair... that isn't the school for him. It is unfair that they did not enforce the policy from the beginning and are just doing it NOW... but it's still their school, their rules... and your choice to have your son attend. If it were a public school and the only school available for your child I would say it is worth the fight, but for a private school... their school, their call. Sorry.

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