Problem talking to husband about having more kids

Jenny - posted on 05/19/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




I need some advice. I am having difficulty talking to my husband about having more kids. Initially, we decided we wanted to have 2 kids, but with our 3-year-old son being developmentally disabled (he's catching up), some health problems in our family (I had gallbladder surgery last year and we almost lost my grandfather), and helping to financially support my mom, my husband is now rethinking what he wants to do. My husband has a good job and we are doing ok financially, but my husband is scared about last year repeating itself. I am so ready to have another kid and don't want to wait much longer. So far the discussions we have had on this subject have been more about what my husband wants and because he wants to wait, we have waited. Now whenever I bring up the subject, all I get is "we have been through this before and we'll talk about it again by our next anniversary (January 13)." Sometimes I am an emotional wreck because I don't know how to talk to him about this. Any suggestions would be appreciated, thanks.


Julie - posted on 05/19/2012




Is he becoming more resistant the more you bring it up? Maybe he's feeling as anxious about having another child as you are about not having another. I'd give him time since this is what he's told you he needs. He's not saying, "no," just that he's not ready now. Is there something you can do to allow yourself to relax a little in the meantime? Maybe some great dates with him, some self-care you wouldn't have the time for if you had two kids....pedicures, gym membership, trips to the library?

Just so you know, I come from a place of sympathy. I have one child with a diagnosis as well. We intended to have two but moved, then I miscarried and it just didn't happen. We have more to give the child we do have in terms of finances, time and energy. Three has turned out to be the perfect family size for us.

Regardless of the outcome, I believe you'll find you end up with the perfect family size. Good luck!

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