Problem with my daughters step mom

Kylie - posted on 04/04/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I'm needing some advise. I have four children but my 7 year old daughter has a different father than the other 3. My ex and I are both remarried. I have had issures with his new wife ever since they first got together. I thought at first it was going to be good. She was nice to me which I thought was a good sign that this was going to be a good situation if we can get along. I was wrong!! I have a question regarding step parent rights and parental alienation. I have joint shared custody of her. My daughters step mother has been constantly trying to cause problems for me since she married my ex. Most recently my daughter contacted lice from school. The out break took some time to get under control. My daughters step mother made an appointment for my daughter without my knowledge so I was unable to attend this appointment. My ex and I were not there for this appointment but my daughters step mother discussed the lice issue which resulted in sending me a threatening certified letter stating that as a result from that appointment she was told to turn me into SRS for neglect. I was told I was not invited to my daughters class birthday party last year because the step mom didn't think it would be a good idea. I have been told by my ex that on his weeks the step mom can take care of doctor appointments and that I don't need to be there because it was not my week with my daughter. The step mom has said she is waiting for me to mess up so they can get full custody of my daughter. In the past I have tried talking to my ex and he just blames me for the issues and says I'm just jealous of his new wife and feel threatened. I have tried to bite my tongue over the past years with these issues because every time I tried to address them it turned around on me and was a waste of my time. I'm at a loss. I can't afford to retain an attorney every time we have an issue, is there anything I can do?

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Kylie - posted on 04/04/2014

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Our court orders say nothing as far as step parents. She wasn't in the picture at that time. The week of the doctors appointment was actually my week but they had asked to keep her to see if they could get a handle on the situation, which I agreed to, however when it came time for my week again is when I received the certified letter stating that she had spoken with the doctor about turning me into SRS and were not going to allow her to come back to my home until I could prove that no one in my house had lice and that my house was free lice. This was an out break that happened at the school and was a month of treatments. I called the doctor as they did and treated her with prescription strength treatments and took all the precautions in our home to insure the problem would be taken care of but they still accused me of not taking care of the problem. I visited with the school and my doctors office of the issue and neither thought that it was an issue of neglect that SRS was warranted. I know I'm not perfect and don't claim to be. I just know why this has been done. Yes you are right it is probably time for an attorney, I guess I just hoped it wouldn't come to that. I have no problem with the step mom if she would just leave me alone. I have to communicate with her regarding things with my daughter because she makes it that way. My ex leaves all that up to her.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/04/2014

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What do your court orders say regarding your ex's parenting responsibilities. He cannot arbitrarily assign them to his wife, he's the parent.

As far as the school, you both need to be on contact info, but she should not be allowed to dictate terms for your daughter. Again, something to address with your ex and your attorneys.

Now, I do have to say that, if it was their week when the lice occurred, she may have needed to make that one appointment, but only that one, and both you and the child's father should have been notified. (He should have notified you, and given you the time, etc).

So, you'll need to get an attorney, and have the orders revisited.

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