Problems with 8 year old who steals

Kasie - posted on 06/02/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Sorry this is so long!
We are a family of four. We have an 8 year old and 2 year old both girls. While our two year old is thriving our eight year old seems to try and find every way she can hurt us and does just that. I have written on here once before and everyone said give her more attention( please do not write that we spend lots of time with our kids) . We have tried that along with explaing why stealing is wrong, where stealing will get her, time outs, no tv, no extra activities, taken her toys away, sentances, spanking ( while I know many are not a fan it was suggested by a doctor). There has been 3 trips to the police station and an inschool suspension as well for stealing. Now for the kicker. While this all had started with food, toys and other small items and has gradually made its way up to money, cell phones, I work from home and she has been stealing the products I make and getting rid of them and more expensive items.
This week we have been really busy and doing what the counselor/therapist we have going to suggested giving a little more freedom ( so stupid us we were like ok we can try) two days later she steals her fathers wallet. It had everything in it! His ID, Military ID, Bank Cards, Credit cards everything. While at first when we realized it missing we figured she would never go this far so we had a stolen report filed with the Sheriffs office. Later that day when she got home from school we sat down for dinner and we asked her if she had seen the wallet. She told us she had taken it out of the truck, taken it to school and now refuses to tell us who has it or where she put it. We notified the school right away they can not find it. The next morning we returned to the sheriffs office to find out what the steps were to do now that we had found out our 8 year old had done this. They asked us if this was her first time stealing and we told them now it happens alot and we are trying our best and working on getting her the help. They took her back with us and sat her down to talk. She does not care what she did was wrong, she does not care she caused soo much trouble for us, and she does not care we are upset and looked at the officers and deputy as if they were stupid! Now this being one of the most emberassing moments for both me and her father they are deciding what to do with her ( there are no charges being pressed but there are consequences). We meet agian on Monday with her therapist and the psyc. to see what the next steps are. Just wonder what other parents would do if there kids did this?

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Adrienne - posted on 06/02/2011

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Have you had her to a child Psychiatrist? I'm sorry if it's redundant - you mentioned a counselor, but they're not the same thing. It sounds like your daughter has some pretty serious issues. No offense and it is not a commentary on you or your parenting. It may very well be that she has a condition that is purely psychiatric/physically based and needs to be checked. I have a friend who's daughter was doing a lot of the same things with violent outbursts on top of it. Turns out that she's bi-polar and aspergers. Once they got her on the proper meds at the correct dosages, she was so much better. AND even commented on it herself - that she feels so much better and in control now, is making friends, etc. Firm and consistent consequences for her actions. Reminding her that you love her, it's her behavior that you have a problem with. Other than that, I think this is one for the professionals hun. So sorry that you're having to go through this and I sincerely hope that things get better for you.

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Victoria - posted on 11/13/2012

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I totally understand where you are comeing from and I am sorry for any parent that has to go through this I to have an 8 year daughter. Mine is also stealing and has had the cops involved and it has got so big that she just stole a violin from the school. she has also stole money from me, stuff from store, cell phones, and other electronics. Please if you find anything that is working or here of something that is suggested please email me, victoriabrothwell@gmail.com

Kasie - posted on 06/02/2011

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She has an appointment with the Psychiatrist on Monday right after her counselor/therapist appt.

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