Problems with childs father

Cc - posted on 09/23/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




Me and my child's father dated before we got pregnant with are now 3 month old daughter while pregnant I noticed him to continously drink and become argumentI've with me so I put him out as the time neared for are daughter to arrive he asked could he be involved had changed etc so i let him be involved although not perfect he seemed to help.with are daughter financially and spend time with her etc it was when he start drinking become beligerant threatening etc although he never hit me at all i put a ppo against him.and when seemed to change let him come to visit where he got drunk again which I called the police now he's arrested I feel guilty as if I messed up the relationship between my daughter and her dad just confused on what I should do???


View replies by

Gardensparrow - posted on 09/23/2015




Well, you certainly need to put the safety of yourself and your daughter first. So, that definitely needs to be your main consideration as far as letting your child's father back into your lives.
And, when it comes to knowing whether he's changed or not, perhaps you could ask him to go into a treatment program or something that would keep him accountable. If he's willing and complies, that might be a good sign.
Another thought would be to look into a program like Al-Anon, which is for friends and family of alcoholics. Since they're familiar with situations like these, they might be able to help you determine what sort of contact to allow between your child and her father. Or you could also get a counselor's opinion if that's possible.
So, just some things to consider...

Raye - posted on 09/23/2015




The father and child both have rights to see each other, so you did right by giving him more chances to do the right thing. But it's his decision to drink, and that puts you and the baby in a dangerous situation. So you also did right by calling the police. You are not responsible for his behavior. He screwed up, not you. You just have to try to do the best you can and care for your little one.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms