Problems with ex

Alex - posted on 08/20/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I'm 18 and 26 weeks pregnant me and my ex split up 4 weeks ago due to him lying and cheating and wanting to have fun before his baby is born. I asked for money of him to put towards her pram and he said no he has got a holiday to pay for and needs spending money for his holiday and he has everything he needs for her. he has everything second hand even a second hand cot with a second hand mattress that's stinks and a second hand Moses basket witch is broke. Then he goes and buys a pair of shoes she won't fit in till she is two and puts a picture on Facebook and now everyone thinks he's a top dad and gets her everything. He also thinks he's goin to take her of me when she is a couple of weeks old to stay at his when I'm breast freeding her :s he is also taking steroids which makes his mood change and make him nasty I don't trust him with her atall I wouldn't trust him with a goldfish never mind my child! He didn't even want her when I found out and said I had ruined his life. I'm not putting him on the birth certificate and I'm just wondering if anyone thinks I'm doing the right thing? X

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/20/2013

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Get paternity established, and go for support. Unless he's wanting to totally suspend parental rights (and you live in a state where it's allowed) you are going to be able to at least get support.

Alex - posted on 08/20/2013

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He's just text me saying he doesn't want anything to do with me and my baby. he has a new girlfriend and she could be pregnant and he doesn't want to waste his life or money on us! I also never once said I wouldn't let him see her I said about not putting him on the birth certificate so he couldn't take her of me!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/20/2013

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No, actually, you're not.

You slept with this guy, knowing full well that you could end up pregnant. You cannot arbitrarily keep him out of the picture.

You can't charge him for support, and give him no parental rights. That's having your cake and eating it too, and its selfish and childish.

Get paternity established, get a visitation schedule set through the legal system, and get support established. In the long run, you'll have done the best thing.

Michelle - posted on 08/20/2013

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If you are wanting child support then he will be acknowledged as the Father and has parental rights. You can't have just a small amount of parental rights, it doesn't work like that. If he's the father then he has rights.

Alex - posted on 08/20/2013

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He will have contact with her I would never stop that. I just don't want my child sleeping in a cot that smells of urine. So he can come to mine instead and see her for a couple of hours. I just don't want him to think he can take her whenever and I thought if I didn't put him in he wouldn't have as much parental rights

Michelle - posted on 08/20/2013

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He needs to have contact with her as it's not fair to deny a child their parent.
In regards to him getting overnight access after a couple of weeks, he won't if you are breastfeeding. You may want to check where you are in regards to him being on the birth certificate and getting child support. I know in some places, if you don't have the Father on the BC you need to go through the DNA testing to prove he is the Father to get child support.
Until your child is born he doesn't have to pay for anything. Yes I agree that he should be but you can't force it. You also can't control what he buys for the child. You need to get yourself a lawyer and get visitation and custody sorted out ASAP.

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