problems with hubby because of previous relationship kids

Nonhlanhla - posted on 09/07/2014 ( 12 moms have responded )

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my hubby hates my kids, he was initially told when he came to pay lobola that i had kids from a previous relationship. 3 years later he is telling me what a terrible mother i have been to my kids no wonder they turned out this badly, and also that i do not discipline my kids. He says i should not force my kids on him and i should make peace with the fact that he hates them.....it pains me so much to hear him speak like that and not even his family memebers are willing to help in this situation.

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Ev - posted on 09/07/2014

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I have to agree with the others. If the man can not accept the kids as part of the package, then leave him. My kids would have come first if I had ever dated though it was my choice not to date. Now that they are both adults (son in last year of high school and nearing 18), I think that if someone came along they might be more accepting of that. They have had a hard time of it with their dad having remarried 2 more times and not had great relationships with the step mothers. I would not tolerate anyone who did not want my kids around.

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I'd divorce his butt in a heartbeat! There is someone who will love your kids as much as they love you. Yes, you and your children are a packaged deal...but may I ask, how did you not pick this up before you married him?

Nonhlanhla - posted on 09/18/2014

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Good Morning Ladies,

Wow i am thankful to all supportive messages, it is so nice to finally find a place where i can shed of the weight i am carrying. I am leaving my house on the 26 September 2014, i am so looking forward to that i feel free and fresh. I feel like so much has been lifted off my shoulders, you are the best team anyone could ever have.

Thank you so much
Hugs and kisses to all of you.
Noni

Chasity - posted on 09/10/2014

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That's a bunch of bull! If he loves you truly then he would love your kids as they are a part of you! My hubby of 14yrs g as always been a good step dad to my older kids from before we met, because he Loves me! I say you need to get rid of his butt and move on seriously..or u will regret it later..my mom sure regretted it for letting my step dad be cruel to me n her! He is not a real man he is a insecure wimp that needs a reality check ir an azz whoopin lol. Sorry i just have no paience for guys that are crappy like that.

Jennifer - posted on 09/09/2014

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Kids are a package deal, if your husband hates your kids he needs to go, you and your kids deserve better than that!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/08/2014

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Wow, I'd have to say, I agree with Evelyn, Michelle, & Avi.

Leave the sorry bastard.

To Jaclyn: Whom are you addressing?

Jaclyn - posted on 09/08/2014

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Wow, some of these posts are so rude. Some people are reaching out when they are so lost and scared. Just because this is the internet doesn't mean your words aren't affecting someone!

non, I am so sorry for the situation that you are in. It seems like you know what the right thing is to do, but you are scared, even if he is not physically abusive to your children, he will scar them for life by hating them...you have to save them from this situation. It too would break my heart if I were in your situation, but to love another human being is a choice and your husband is making the choice not to love you because he is saying you are a bad mother and that he hates your children. To me it sounds like he hates himself and is reflecting hate onto your family. I would work out a plan with your family members, i.e. mom, dad, sisters, brother, whoever, to leave and make a happy loving healthy life for your kids, you don't want them to repeat this bad pattern of an unloving life in their future.

[deleted account]

A man that doesn't respect your children, doesn't truly respect you. Your husband should love and treat those children as his own.

Your children come first. The hate projected by your husband will only contribute to a hostile environment and an unhealthy atmosphere, in which your children may grow up to resent you for. If I were you, I'd re-think your marriage.

Michelle - posted on 09/07/2014

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I would never stay with a man that "hated" my children. It's such a strong word, how can you hate children?
I was with someone who said that about my oldest child, his head spun with how fast I left him!!!!

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