Maritza - posted on 03/03/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )
My daughter Carolina is 14 years old. At first last year at 13 yr she left out the window three times. One time hanging with friends told the mom I gave her permission to stay there showed up next day 8:00pm. Never answers cell phone while with friends. Now 14 years out window once had to put window guards. Locks on doors from inside because if I am cooking if she walks out the door I would have to leave food to follow her and bring her back inside. Currently she is behaving better, but I am having problems with getting homework done on time and studying for exams. If I said school is not a place to be wearing make up and besides it messes up you face she still does it. I tell her I need to use the bathroom won't open the door or let me in until she feels like it and have to go some wear else. Currently doing hip-hop at school , Latin dance , and is on the talent show. She has thyroid issues and has not been placed on meds yet. History of severe asthma and out of school a lot because gets sick a lot and then needs to make up a lot of work and exams and becomes lazy or she just sleeps a lot when she get home and always tired. I do not if the thyroid is causing this problems. Sometimes sleep early right after gets home from school. Other time doesn't' t sleep at night and goes to school and wide alert and then gets home and falls asleep. Took her one time hospital said just let her sleep , no school until tomorrow thyroid issue. Wants to spend time with friends but not family or family outings, and family is boring. Why we don't go out or do something different? The answer is no. Saturday took her with older daughter to wash clothes , left her with sister to go to super market for 10 minutes , my older calling her sister wants to go friends house behind your back. I left the supermarket ask her and said her sister lied and older daughter got mad. I took her to Florida last summer and she behaved over there and caused no problems . I was able to leave her in the amusement park with no problems and we meet later on to eat and continue at the park with the rides. I think the problems are her friends , cell phone, Facebook and videos on you tube cable , and Netflix. Before when we did not have any of this she had 90"s, never left out window, no window guards and I told her if she follow my rules in 7th grade she could come home with her friends from school. In stead in 8th grade started hanging out, grades drop and friends were telling her she did not have to listen to me. She could do what ever she wants. My older daughter did not go to Geneseo because she does not want me calling her saying her sister disappeared and waiting on the call she is ok. Currently she in a college she dislikes and wants to transfer and regrets not going because of her sister. My husband works night shift 15 hours a day 6 days a week. I tried not to confront her my younger too much, but I think she needs to know who is in charge here and everyone at home can not lives their things for her. She is actually out going , smart, charismatic , sweet , really hates lies, and really a good kid according to teachers and schools. The guidance counselor said do not get involve or make too many friends maybe one or two only and you will stay out of trouble. She is currently a freshmen and there has been two school stabbings and several arrest. There is always smell of marijuana in the hall ways. The teachers are good, but the problems with the students and they accept pretty much anyone to there school. The only reason the school do not have an A or B and instead an F is the students that caused problems come to school with knives and it usually happens in the cafeteria at lunch time. My child had a 92 GPA and got suck in this school. She loves dance, singing . music , art, history, English. science, Spanish, and gym. The science teacher spoke to me and told me to that she did not have to pay for college because she is scholarship material. I need help! WHAT SHOULD I DO IN THIS SITUITATION? Should I disconnect all the issues that are interrupting her studies. Should I CHANGE THE SCHOOL! Most students there are students not wanted by other schools. I think that I could transfer using her medical condition. She saids she likes the school sometimes, but other times due to violence and marijuana asks me to change her. Then the next day said she will stay. I want an advice of what should I do. If let her out with friends shows up at any time. I told her only with family and older sister she is able to go out. Older sister18 years old so if she wants sometimes, not all the time it has to be under the watch of her sister who is very responsible. Want to go to a birthday o.k., but with sister, I can not be looking for all night and no answering cell phone when father , mother, and sister or family call including the grandparents and everyone worried. Husband can not drive all night looking for a child that could caused a car accident or his or any ones else life because he is nervous. She is a good kid while she is not with her friends.