problems with my own family

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Shell - posted on 08/23/2014

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Thanks dave - r post helps and I find it encouraging to know that I'm not going mad. I have spent many of a night up in the early hrs crying over what is happening to me and can't still believe that my own family have treated me so badly. I've good days and bad days but I am putting up a brave face for my husband and kids - thanks again for r advice.

Dove - posted on 08/17/2014

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If they are causing so much upset... just cut them off. You may never understand. You could call a 'family meeting' (w/out any of the kids) and try to respectfully hash it all out and come to a mutual understanding... but that may or may not solve anything.

My only other comment is... unless there are extenuating circumstances... 15 and 11 are certainly old enough to look out for each other w/out the need to make childcare arrangements.

Sorry things are so rough!!

Shell - posted on 08/17/2014

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Hi - I need some advice on a situation regarding my parents and sister. Its been 3 months since my sister or parents have spoken to me and my own family.
Reasons for this are simply that my parents favour her kids over many mine and I called her out on it as my kids are noticing this and are upset about a dew things that have happened. She has not spoken to me since then and I don't know what she told my parents because they are ignoring me and my family - they have passed my daughter on the street when she was with her friends which upset her greatly. My husband and I used to depend on my family to mind r kids when we worked but we were told ( during the argument) to make other arrangements in future due to my attitude. I feel sad and upset the way my own family have shunned me and my family - its as if we don't exist. I know they will want me to make the first move and even then I'll be told off - I'll be told how awful i am and how I've caused distress to them etc.
And I won't be able to express my own feelings about it as they will be dismissed and told to grow up ( I know this will happen as it has happened before).
So this time I am taking a stand as I've done nothing wrong (in my opinion) - but I can't believe that they r treating my husband and kids badly. I feel so lonely sometimes bur my husband doesn't want anything more to do with them as they have caused severe upset to us of late.
Help ...I don't know what to think or do anyone. ..how can my own family treat their own daughter so badly?

Melissa - posted on 07/20/2014

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Stay strong ! I know u didn't do anything but just apologize because u really don't want to have a bad relationship with the people u love most ! Ask them to meet u at dinner make it just like old times treat them to dinner but nothing fancy something from your childhood that they all love ! I know u might not want to but whatever you have to do to save your relationship

Shell - posted on 07/20/2014

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Hi - I am married with 2 kids (11&15 yrs) - and approx 2 months ago I had a argument with my sister ( who is a single mom of 2 young kids - 7&8-
and who still lives with my parents).
I was starting a new job on a Monday morning and my dad agreed to look after my kids in his house but ....when I called down on the Sunday night before to give food for my kids dinners for the week - I had a few words with my sister over somethng trivial ( I noticed her two kids had gifts from my parents after they were away on hols the week before but nothing was bought for my kids - )
I made a remark bout -"where are my kids presents "- but I was told by my sister to leave the house. 1hr later my sister arrived up to my house with the food that I bought and gave to my father - telling me to make alternative arrangements for someone else to mind my kids as I've a attitude problem and it won't work out. She threw the bags of food inside my door and walmex away.
I collapsed onto my knees in shock - tried to ring my parents but they did not answer. I couldn't believe that they did this to me and left me in a bad situation as I had only 12 hrs to try and arrange childcare for my kids for the following day. My husband had to take the following day off work as we couldn't find alternative arrangements.
Its been over 2 months now and my parents and sister still ignore me and have made no contact at all. I feel that I have done nothing wrong but obviously in their eyes I've caused all of the problem and I am the one left alone - like a punishment.
Today I was shopping with my own family and my sister passed us - she said hello to my husband and kids quite loudly but completely ignored me.
Again I cried -can't believe that my own sister could treat me so badly.
How can my own parents take her side and not even talk to me???
I have good and bad days but today when she ignored me over right my own family - I was devastated. Don't know how to handle it anymore. ..I can't forgive the way they let me down and I feel like they r ganging up together against me - need advice !!!!

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