Michele Leslie - posted on 04/01/2014 ( 12 moms have responded )
Whenever I can sleep, which is rare, I wake up and think "this is all a horrible nightmare." But it's not - I'm in a living hell. I am a first time mom. I have a beautiful baby boy. I cared for him and it is because I lived in the hospital and spent time with him and pumped ebm regularly. You see my baby was premature by 3 months due to placental abruption. My little baby boy was not expected to live and he did, was sure he would have severe brain damage - he didn't. He's a miracle and I took care of him in the NICU for 104 days (3.5 months)....he was growing and developing like a champ. We were nursing successfully. We had an incredibly strong bond: he new my smell, my voice, my touch. I was his security and provided him unconditional love and compassion. He was in a place to thrive. We were getting ready to go home before his due date!
Then this arrogant, rude and abusive people came in and told me my baby would have to go to foster care because their were "serious concerns" about my ability to care for him. (I'll save details for later if anyone is interested). They took my baby, then gave him to foster care and then to his father. He is doing horribly. Yet, the caseworker refuses to believe my concerns - she just wants to have her hands wiped clean of my baby and an extremely difficult high-conflict separating parenting situation: i.e. she was lazy.
This is a story you see on the news and think " that's so sad" .... "the caseworkers are prejudiced and cut corners in their investigation ...they treated the parents like criminals with no sensitivity, no follow up or assistance to families who are are unaware of the resources and supports in their communities" .... "they were manipulative, did little to no follow up" ..... "this poor family went through hell for no appropriate reason; their infant's death was preventable; a result of caseworkers making decisions and abusing their authority far beyond their area of knowledge - too busy and lazy to collaborate with doctors and nurses and therapists."
The only reason my baby is us on the news is that he baby is still alive - damaged permanently physically, emotionally and psychologically - but alive.
I am a mom. A first time mom. I love my baby so much. Our "system" needs a major overhaul in my opinion. How could the trial of an infant,preterm even, be delayed for over a year - without follow up, with emotional abuse and alienation of mom and her baby? I understand this is criminal negligence by the CCC.
Yet, our Provincial System in Alberta (Canada) has not changed. In fact recently, caseworkers responding to concerned person(s) about child protection have been given even more freedom to made independent, major decisions about the rest of an infant's life.
I would like to hear good stories about Child Protective Services, because the only one's the make the news are the horribly sad ones. Or is this issue so common their is not such a solution? Are there any social workers out their who claim they focus on the best interests of the baby but in fact hardly consider the child at all?
My infant son was forced to lose his mom.
All my son knows is that his mom abandoned him - that's all his little brain knows and he cannot express or understand why. So he lives in fear and mistrust because he is being denied of the one thing he felt safe with, secure. He now doesn't bond well and does not show that content sense of trust.
My little boy was ripped away from the only person he knew.
He was denied his breast milk.
He was in high-risk situations with a handful of nannies.
I still can't believe this happened to my baby. I miss him dearly. I have been grieving for over a year now. I've tried to communicate reasonably with all sorts of people and they send me in a circle back to each other - "child protective services" tells me their hands are tied and have to wait for court, crisis lines tell me my concerns are not of harm to the child, social workers and medical staff tell me it's a legal matter and a psycho-social and since there was already a social worker involved - it is for them to follow up.
I feel as though this is living hell and I would never wish this on anyone. Everywhere I see mom's and babies and I hear "I don't know what I'd do if my child was taken from me - I would go crazy - I can't even imagine it."
I am sad and grieving and angry and I will never stop advocating for what is best for my little baby boy.