Psycho stepdaughter?

Cristina - posted on 10/26/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Imagine the worst, and she is that. Cold, dismissive, jealous to the point where I cannot even walk up to hubby and she darts between us and just stand there, interfering and smacking him if he even smiles at me or talks to me, cries for any reason all the time, is mean to her dad, messy, dirty, rude, dismissive, mean to me to the point where I do not even dare look or talk to her, instigates all the other kids, screams in fun or in anger, says mean things to her father, is bossy, rude, negative. The list is too OMG to post. She is 8 and we have been together 4 years, so no reason for all this. I am nothing but either kind or polite to her. Help!

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Dove - posted on 10/27/2014

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It's obvious from your description of her that she desperately needs help. What are the adults in her life doing to HELP her? Firm, consistent boundaries and consequences for negative behavior? One on one time? Counseling? Fun and games and outpouring of unconditional love in spite of the bad behaviors?

Mary-Jane - posted on 10/27/2014

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I suppose its very hard for her to cope with the fact that her parents have split. She might be thinking that you are almost 'replacing' her own mother which isnt the case. You could try to talk to your hubby and try to work something out. You could also try to talk to someone maybe a therapist to see why she is so angry and upset at you. I personally think its because she thinks you are 'replacing' her mom. Good luck :)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/27/2014

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Has she (or any of you) been to counseling for the blend?

Chet - posted on 10/27/2014

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There is an expression that the children who are most difficult to love need love the most. I suspect that under the cold, dismissive, jealous, rude behaviour is a child who needs help.

Does your step daughter have friends? How does she behave at school? I'm wondering if she's always like this, or if she is able to get along with people in some situations.

Has she been like this for the entire four years you've been with her father?

Michelle - posted on 10/26/2014

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What does her Father do about the behaviour?
How often do you have her?
What consequences does she have for bad behaviour?

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