Punishing 11 yr old?

Katrinna - posted on 09/09/2012 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I took my 11 year old and 2 year old to the Fair today. I spent $14 just to get in and another $20 for the 11 yr old to ride unlimited rides. He refused to get on any of the big kid rides because he was too scared, after the 3rd attempt of trying to get him to ride I got frustrated and said we were going home. I told him if he was too scared to get on any of the rides it was just a waste of money. Was I wrong to punish him?

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Jodi - posted on 09/09/2012

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Well, personally, I think that's a bit too much. Firstly, indicating there are little girls half his size on the rides is humiliation, and I don't believe this achieves anything either. As I said, how is punishing him going to change his behaviour? And how is it a logical consequence? To be honest, making him work to earn some pocket money and pay you back the wasted $20 would be a better option. But I wouldn't even do that, because it's not going to change how he feels about the rides.

Jodi - posted on 09/09/2012

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How did you punish him? Whose idea was it to purchase unlimited rides? Did he go on the smaller rides?



Personally, I wouldn't have punished him for feeling scared. I would work on why he was feeling scared in the first place. You aren't going to change how he feels about by punishing him. Isn't the point of discipline to be about trying to change the undesired behaviour? I fail to see how punishing him is going to achieve that. By all means, a consequence would be that we won't be doing that activity again, given it was pointless, but that's not punishment, that's just common sense logic.

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Dove - posted on 09/09/2012

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I have an 11 year old... comparing them to kids half their size (cuz yeah... I've got one of those too) IS humiliating. My daughter would be mortified if there was something she was afraid to do that her brother loved and I 'rubbed it in her face'... and before you say you didn't rub it in his face.... 11 year old kids are weird hormonal creatures and they take EVERYTHING the wrong way. ;)

Clara - posted on 09/09/2012

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I think u were I have an 11 year old grandon who is just like that, yet his brother is 10 and wants to ride everything he can find, I sometimes don't want him to, all kids are not the same. Poor baby he was scared. Sometimes we as adults are scared of certain thing in life.

Michelle - posted on 09/09/2012

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Katrinna my son is also 11 and only likes the kiddie rides, he doesn't like heights and he doesn't like to go really fast he gets motion sickness. There is nothing wrong with your son being afraid to do the rides, why not just let him ride the little Kiddie rides with your two year old then he can have fun with his sibling and not worry about the big rides. This is what my son did last summer with his little sister she is 3, he thoroughly enjoyed watching his sister go on the kiddie rides and spent some quality time with her to me that was worth every penny I spent. The fair is about our kids having fun not what rides they go on. I understand your frustration as I feel the same about my son but realistically not riding big rides is not going to be a life altering thing. I would not have punished him I would have just told him that he better get $20 out of the rides he was going to go on.

Jodi - posted on 09/09/2012

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Some kids don't find scary rides fun. That's just a fact. Move on. He may get over his fears, but he isn't going to get over them if you punish him for them. Letting him know he can pay for his own ride ticket next year is the way to go. Then it becomes his choice. Don't remove privileges because he was scared.

User - posted on 09/09/2012

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I appreciate the advice but I don't feel like I humiliated him. I was merely pointing out all the other children going on the rides and that it's okay to be scrared, the rides are suppose to be alittle scary, that's what makes them so fun. It just seems like he has a hard time doing new things. If it doen't involve the tv or computer he's not interested. He asked me to go to the Fair 20 times this weekend so I expected him want to ride the rides. So he was scared so what right, sure he'll have plenty of time to overcome his fears, and yeah he's paying for his own tickets next year!

Dove - posted on 09/09/2012

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Humiliating and punishing your child for him being scared is a great way to help him overcome his fears.....



Who cares if he's afraid of the rides? Call it a lesson learned and the next time you go to the fair... if he wants to go on rides he can pay for them himself.

Maureen - posted on 09/09/2012

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Fear of amusement park rides is not something a child is proud of. Punishing him for not riding is not a good idea. Your punishing him for something he doesn't have control over. If your son rode these types of rides in the past, and decided not to cuz he was mad about something, that's one thing. There are times where we waste our money and there's nothing we can do about it. Would you have punished him if he got sick while there? There is plenty of time in life to get over childhood fears. Accept him as he is, and he'll grow up with confidence and self esteem. Can't put a price on that.

Katrinna - posted on 09/09/2012

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He went on a couple of kiddy rides first, but refused to ride any of the "big rides" There were little girls half his size willing to to go on the rides. I just wanted him to try something new, I told him that he would have to sit in his room, no tv, no playstation, or computer.

Katherine - posted on 09/09/2012

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I would be frustrated too after spending that amount of money and probably would have done the same thing. What's the point in staying if he's not going to ride? And yes, how did you punish him?

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