Punishment for Teen

Christy - posted on 11/20/2014 ( 8 moms have responded )




Ok, I am the step mother for a nearly 16 yr girl, She is overall a very wonderful well behaved child, she mostly lives with my husband and me and spends maybe every other weekend with her mother. She is very respectful of her mother because and i quote "im scared of her", in the past the mother physically punished her, not to the lines of abuse, But here with in the last year, my step daughter has had the habit of a very very vulgar mouth towards me mostly and her father here and there, mostly she calls her father a dumbass or an asshole, which he isnt in any way, he will tell her to watch her mouth but to no prevail. Although when it comes to me, i get, fuck off, and shut up and a list of other things. mostly fuck off, sometimes its in a joking manner but i dont take it as a joke, now she doesn't use this language at her mothers or towards her mother. yet my step daughter and i have a pretty close relationship, i have tried grounding her but she doesnt care about being in her room, shes in it almost all the time, nor does she care if i take anything away from her, cell phone, game system, tv. it just doesn't seem to phase her in the least. Kinda at my whits end. any suggestions?


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Sarah - posted on 11/20/2014




Maybe this is just a phase and she is trying to shock you wit her vulgarity. You have a choice, put up with it or not. If you choose not to tolerate it, tell her flat out that you will no longer permit her to use foul language when she addresses you. When she is down to nothing but a pillow on the floor of her bedroom, with no phone, allowance, furniture, lighting, computer (if she says she needs it for school, too bad), TV, game system, privacy (yes, take the door off) and just one change of clothes. She will stop. It is ridiculous that you should have to resort to such extreme measures but if you really tried everything else, what choice to you have?
She learned from both of you that it is ok to speak to you in this manner. While I do think major discipline issues need to be handled by her father, you are an adult and her SM and have every right to tell her to speak to you with respect.

Ev - posted on 11/20/2014




I have to agree with the other ladies on this. I just do not understand the close relationship and her using this language with you no matter the tone of it. I do not understand her father just saying what your mouth and then doing nothing further. Have there been rules established to what is allowed language wise in the home and the consequences for it. And talking to her about how this makes you feel is important too and ask her why she does this. It could be that some of her friends from school do this and she might think its cool. I have a son who is a year older than her. He sometimes slips and says bad words but always follows up with an apology. He knows I do not talk like that all the time and expect him not to talk that way either. He does not get consequences for it but since he does apologize and we discuss why he did it, he gets the idea. He is respectful of me because he knows I would not tolerate his use of such words in my home. As for his step mother, I am not sure if he uses those types of words around her or not but he does tell her how he feels about things even though she does not like to hear it. He has always told people how things make him feel or what he thinks on it. I think respect goes both ways and if people can so respect to one another it might help. Sometimes its hard to do.

Dove - posted on 11/20/2014




I honestly don't know what I would do as my children would never dare talk like that to me. Not because they are afraid of me, but because our family doesn't talk like that and they have respect for me.

Have you and her father sat down w/ her and told her how it makes you feel to hear that language from her towards you? If you have a close relationship w/ her she should care that it hurts you and makes you feel disrespected... and if she doesn't care then you all need to get to the root of that. I do not think punishing her is going to make her stop (though I'm certainly not opposed to punishments for blatant disrespect).

Michelle - posted on 11/20/2014




Her Father needs to be the one punishing her and making her apologize for her behaviour. Telling her to watch her mouth isn't going to do anything. Maybe he can give her extra chores to do.
I don't know what else really, my children aren't like that with their step parents.

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