Punishment kids/teen : Deprived things or spanking ?

Chris - posted on 11/19/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Much of parents are pro-spanking and other no spanking.
Each education as punishment isn't better.

A lot kids deprived are more hated their parent than the kids spanked.
In France there is several years, a boy 9yo was deprived console. He killed his father.
Never i seen in France a kid spanked killed a parent.
I seen several time kids deprived of things to have advantage bad attitude.
A teen deprived of party, will go only in the night and will have a risk to be killed by a criminal when she go at home for the return. If the parent drive her in the party, no risk of rape and other problem.
Deprived a kid of supper, it's terrible for me. All kid must eating.
Deprived a travel with the school, it's very humiliating. Several of my friends was punished by this, and they're hated their parent since this punishment. All their schoolfriend was funny to go the travel, no the kid punished.
All kid spanked never have regretted this method of punishment.
All kid deprived of things, i seen and read much message who have no liked this punishment and will have prefered a spanking.

Deprived of things a kid for me is more a child abuse than spanking and humiliating than spanking.
Cordially.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/19/2016

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In the case of the 9 year old, there was more going on than was published.
A teen deprived of a party will only sneak out to said party if they know that their parents will not enforce their punishment.
Deprive a kid of supper? No one suggests that, ever. Stop misinterpreting. If a kid does not wish to eat what is served, they either make their own or go without. That is not deprivation of food, that is teaching your kid that the world does not revolve around him. In other words, I don't run a short order cafe. Everyone eats the same meal.
Deprived of school travel? If they cannot behave appropriately, they create a hazardous situation for all, and the school will rescind their permission. I guarantee it is not a harmful punishment, but it gets the result of said kid behaving in the future.
All kids spanked have never regretted it. Bullshit. You have been given several opposing examples. Pull your head out of your ass.
All kids deprived of things have said they would prefer spanking. Well, duh...the quick abusive punishments allow them continued access to their privileges. Of course they don't want to leave their devices alone. In this, you are being lazy.

I can counter every one of your bullshit reasons

Jodi - posted on 11/19/2016

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Actually, I am a believer in natural or logical consequences.

For example:

You misuse your phone or technology, you lose it. Logical consequence.
You refuse to eat your main meal, you don't get dessert course. Logical consequence.
You break curfew, you lose the privilege of going out. Logical consequence.
You speak badly, throw a tantrum, etc, time out and apologies. Logical consequence.
You don't finish your school work, you sit there until it is done and there will be no going out with friends or playing. Logical consequence.

I could list hundreds of examples, but I won't.

Hitting is never a logical consequence. I totally disagree that spanking is in any way equal to natural and logical consequences. Children need to learn these, because LIFE gives us natural consequences. Hitting is not a part of that because hitting someone else brings assault charges, and we need to teach that hitting is not a solution to a behaviour someone else disagrees with.

It's not rocket science.

If a child killed his father because he lost privileges to his console, then there was more going on with that child than just the console - that child had unattended mental health issues.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/19/2016

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Go the fuck away! No matter how many times you attempt to justify your continued abuse of your kids, it only serves to reinforce that you are a lazy parent who refuses to put the effort into logical parenting.

Dove - posted on 11/19/2016

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I used to spank. I quit spanking my now teens a LONG time ago (like 7ish maybe). Technically I almost never have a reason to 'punish' them anymore, but when I do they are banned from electronic devices or going out. I almost never have to punish them because they respect me, their rules, and boundaries... and other than a little laziness when it comes to cleaning... they are making awesome choices and practically completely run their own lives... they'll be 15 in December.

I used to spank my son (now 8) as well until I saw how much damage it was doing to HIM. I quit doing that a good 3+ years ago and most of his violent behavior issues disappeared practically over night. He is also banned from electronic devices when needed. And yeah, he hates it and expresses his displeasure about it, but as soon as he calms down he is hugging and loving on me like he always does.

None of my kids are scarred by loss of privileges. One of them WAS scarred from spanking.

You are a creep and a crap parent and you've been told that repeatedly. Shut the hell up and go preach your BS nonsense to France.

Michelle - posted on 11/19/2016

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Go away!!!!!
It doesn't matter how many times you post your pro-spanking c**p, we won't be agreeing with you.
Spanking is abuse, it doesn't matter how you try and explain it.

Jodi - posted on 11/19/2016

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Using my belief in natural or logical consequences, I have not needed to use spanking for my children to become functional and respectful adults.

I will agree that some people abuse children emotionally without hitting. I've seen that too. We need to, as parents, find that happy middle ground, where we don't feel the need to hit our children, but provide them with consequences that make sense to them, that they can accept, and that they can learn from.

Unfortunately, too many parents don't have the education or the role modelling to be able to do this. I believe there need to be more free parenting classes available to teach parenting techniques that don't involve physical or emotional abuse. Spanking is not the solution, and we need to educate parent better in the psychology of the child's brain and use this to help teach and guide their behaviour.

Chris - posted on 11/19/2016

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"You misuse your phone or technology, you lose it. Logical consequence.
You refuse to eat your main meal, you don't get dessert course. Logical consequence.
You break curfew, you lose the privilege of going out. Logical consequence.
You speak badly, throw a tantrum, etc, time out and apologies. Logical consequence.
You don't finish your school work, you sit there until it is done and there will be no going out with friends or playing. Logical consequence."

These case said by you, Jodi, i 'am agree this sort of punishment in this maneer for logical consequence explained as you did.

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