Question about Child Support

Tina - posted on 05/31/2015 ( 16 moms have responded )

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Please comment if you have knowledge to the subject.TIA

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Michelle - posted on 06/02/2015

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I suggest you write down a list of questions to ask the lawyer. Like I have said a couple of times, the laws are different in every country and the advice you get here could be completely wrong.

Tina - posted on 06/02/2015

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Ex messages (email) that she needs the money for her (not the kids) school, m not sure either thats why i'm asking here.

Michelle - posted on 06/02/2015

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Hearing anything from the children (or anyone else) is not fact, it's hearsay and courts don't accept hearsay as proof.

Ev - posted on 06/01/2015

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I do not think that hearing it from the kids is going to stand up in court but then again this is between countries. For your husband to present it might be like second hand information. The judge is going to want to see proof in documentation not what the kids tell you they see or hear.

Tina - posted on 06/01/2015

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We do have proof, the conversation with the kids. And thank you for your opinion Michelle.

Ev - posted on 06/01/2015

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I did not say it was fair either but in general when a court sets the order you have to follow it and if its not satisfactory to one party they have to take it up in court.

Michelle - posted on 06/01/2015

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I suggested a lawyer because every country has different laws regarding child support. This is an international site and what advice one person gives you may not be correct for where you are. It's always best to consult a lawyer to get the proper and correct legal advice.
I never said it was fair.

Ev - posted on 06/01/2015

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Until you have absolute proof of how she is using the money for the kids or not, you can not say much.

Tina - posted on 06/01/2015

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We are waiting for appointment to discuss it with a lawyer its just hard for us since we are living overseas.

Tina - posted on 06/01/2015

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The amount we're giving is $1000 per kid, that was before my husband and i get married, ex is married to a filipino guy lives in the philippines, he dont work he have a car and he's the one staying on the house ( rent ) that supposed to be for the kids and the car that the ex said for the kids, we paid $5000 for the kids school in the philippines ( international ) but she didn't enrolled them instead she used the money to pay for the plane tickets, she took the kids to florida without even telling my husband about her plans ( she broke too many rules in the decree ) now that me and my husband is married we also have bills and expences and most of the time i'm the one paying, we also have 1 kid, and I'm asking here because maybe some people have any idea about what to do reducing the support, and its not all about me, the kids didn't said anything to their dad about them moving to florida even though my husband always talk to them, and the decree doesn't said anything about the ex getting the money even though the kids will stay with us for 2 months. Now tell me if this is all fair. She gots married she supporting her husband from my husband's money that supposed for their kids, and thats a fact.

Michelle - posted on 06/01/2015

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It really depends on what the court orders say.
As far as I know, if you have the children for 2 months then you shouldn't be paying their Mother any money while the children are with their Father. Child support is for the children, not the other parent.
You would probably be better off discussing this with a lawyer as the laws can be very different in different countries.

Ev - posted on 06/01/2015

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1)Hi again, so my question is, can we reduce the child support my husband giving to his ex?{{The only way to reduce the child support is if the father is making less income than he was before and it has to go through the courts.))
2)They have 2 kids 13 and 7 from their marriage, the ex is married now to a guy who doesn't have work, she and the kids are living with her aunt in florida. {{So what does that have to do with your husband paying support to his kids?}}
3) 75% of my husband's paycheck goes to her, kids dont go to a private school, she left a huge amount of creditcard debt to my husband, she took all the stuff from their marriage ( couch, bed etc. ) {{If this was established in the court orders then he has to follow it where the child support is concerned.}}
4) when i married my husband i know this stuff but i love my husband, i'm the one who bought our furnitures and for expences i'm the one paying for groceries and other stuff like eating outside, and vacation, I'm working fulltime and some sideline so we can survive, but as much as i want to help my husband sometimes its still not enough, {{This is your marriage to him not the child support. IT has nothing to do with his obilgations. You and he got married and have a family unit of your own so it is important that both contribute as best they can to this. You also knew the he had two kids he had obligations to and that meant child support too.}}
6) this summer the kids will stay with us for two months, we live in japan btw we bought tickets for the kids, but the ex said my husband still have to send her the money and if the kids needs money like if we eat outside we need to send her the receipt for her to send back the amount, it pissed me off coz she's so greedy. {{If this is also in the court orders for visitation that he pay for the cost of the transportation for the kids to come see him no matter where he is then he has to do it. The two months they stay with you they are in his care therefore you guys have to be sure to have the essentials for them that also means going out places. If you do not have the money to go out to places then you do not go. Its not about her being greedy. Its about the kids and quit making it about you.}}
7){{Also if he wants the child support during the two month visits reduced by a certain amount, he needs to take it to court.}}

Tina - posted on 06/01/2015

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Hi again, so my question is, can we reduce the child support my husband giving to his ex? They have 2 kids 13 and 7 from their marriage, the ex is married now to a guy who doesn't have work, she and the kids are living with her aunt in florida, 75% of my husband's paycheck goes to her, kids dont go to a private school, she left a huge amount of creditcard debt to my husband, she took all the stuff from their marriage ( couch, bed etc. ) when i married my husband i know this stuff but i love my husband, i'm the one who bought our furnitures and for expences i'm the one paying for groceries and other stuff like eating outside, and vacation, I'm working fulltime and some sideline so we can survive, but as much as i want to help my husband sometimes its still not enough, this summer the kids will stay with us for two months, we live in japan btw we bought tickets for the kids, but the ex said my husband still have to send her the money and if the kids needs money like if we eat outside we need to send her the receipt for her to send back the amount, it pissed me off coz she's so greedy.

Ev - posted on 06/01/2015

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It would depend on what you wanted to really know but here are general things about it:

1) Child support is maintenance for the child to have their needs met such as food, clothing, shelter, utilities (electric, gas, water), transportation, school supplies, diapers, shoes, and other needs that come up.
2) Its not money that is given to the custodial parent for their benefit but to use for the things that the children will need. Some people think that the mom or dad who gets the support use it for themselves but for the most part they use it to help get the above mentioned things for the children done.
4) Child support and visitation are two different issues and do not go hand in hand. You can not keep the visits from the parent if the child support is not paid for example.
5) When you file for support do not sit there and wait for the courts and so on to take care of it all, you have to keep on top of it to make sure it gets where it needs to go.
6) If you feel that the support is not enough, you can take it back to court to get amended.
7) The parent who pays support can also take it back to court to lower it if for some reason their income has changed or something else has caused them not to be able to make the current support level.

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