Pennyvanni - posted on 01/10/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )
I have been searching google but have been unable to find an answer on this situation. I have recently returned home to GA after living 2 years in Maine with my boyfriend. During that time, I gave birth to our daughter. Within the first week that we had been home from the hospital, he made it abundantly clear that he had no intentions of stopping his marijuana habit, that he never wanted to be a father and that his 'mental issues' were too much for him to handle the responsibility of children. The stress , emotional and verbal abuse, coupled with the postpartum depression caused me to have to visit the hospital one evening from stress and suicidal .. I do not wish to say tendencies nor thoughts, it is hard to explain what I was going through that evening.
by the second or third week, it is a bit of a blur to me now due to the major lack of sleep during that time, he was completely unsupportive and would not help me tend to her at all, a friend of mine from GA had to come up and help me. Within a weeks time, she , the baby and I were on our way home, leaving him behind with his drug habit and the falling apart trailer.
I did not take off in the middle of the night but informed him the day before, that I would be leaving with the child, that night she and I slept at a friend's house.
He promised me, when I left that he would NOT challenge me for child support yet now I have received this message vie facebook.
:: Hey Penny. How's things going? Heard your dad was on his way back to the nursing home, so he must be doing better. I hate to bother you with 'business' as it were, but I just wanted to let you know I talked to my lawyer this morning and we can give you until about April 1st to decide on the offer I made, because that's when I'll have to make a decision whether to pay him again to continue with this, or use the money to come get her for the summer and equip for having a baby in the house (if you've agreed to it, obviously.) We do urge you to give it careful consideration because I'm even offering to handle transportation both ways in the spring and fall (by car) and this would still give you 75% custody, so at least I think it's a pretty good deal. Anyway, I'm not gonna ramble on about it, but I'll need either an answer or a counter-offer by April 1st. You can have Carolyn tell me if you don't want to talk to me. Also, if Virginia still needs anything I get my tax refund at the end of this month. I won't say how much, but I'll probably either get her something she needs or buy you a gift card to some online baby supply store. Have a good one and I hope it all works out with your dad.
The 'deal' he is mention there, a couple of days ago he asked me to send her to visit him three months in the summer, which I told him I would think about it.
Of course I have no intention to do so, if I send my baby up there, he will never let me see her again, I know his way of controlling every aspect in his life.
I am scared for him to be even near her, my friend over heard him SCREAMING 'SHUT UP!' at the baby one night when I Had to get some sleep. She witnessed his complete disregard for the baby by holding drug parties in his room in the trailer with the baby in the trailer, the air was acrid with pot smoke in his room and would creep down the hall to where we were. I could not raise her around him, he has made jokes about giving her weed smoke to 'chill her out'
It breaks my heart when I think about him raising my daughter, when I know he does not honestly care about her but knows that as long as she and/or I are in Maine, my mother will support her/us and thus he only wants her to be another source of income for his lazy habits. He has only held a job for a total of 3 months last year.
Can someone please advise me if he has any rights to an illegitimate child in Maine? I am very worried.