Question for anyone who is bi, lesbian, transexual, etc

Merry - posted on 12/13/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

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Hi ladies! I have a question that I'm sure some of you will think I'm stupid to ask, I'm not exactly knowledgeable with the differences about women who aren't straight.
I will say first off, I am naive, I was home schooled, raised Christian, and we never were taught much about different sexual orientations.
So please be nice with me!
Ok so my question is, when you are a lesbian mom etc, do you hope your children grow up to be homosexual also?
I'm sorry if this is a stupid question, but I just am curious.
I just saw a tv show about two moms who have triplets and then twins through sperm donor.
All five kids are boys!
So this made me wonder, do they hope their boys are gay? Or straight? Or does it not matter?
My overall perception of lesbian ladies makes me think they wouldn't care, as they seem to be very accepting and open to everyone.
But I don't have any personal experience with anyone who isn't straight.
Only on tv.
So I could be mislead :)

Anyways, I apologize if I worded anything badly, I'm not sure what words are best to use, and I don't really know what's appropriate or not :)

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JuLeah - posted on 12/13/2010

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Speaking as a lesbian:

Most parents' I know (myself included) want their kids to be happy.



On the one hand, environment does not 'make' a person gay or straight.

On the other hand, if you are questioning and kind of the middle and not sure where you stand ... living in a home where sexual orientation is a non issue, might allow you to really explore the issue.



If you were questioning and not sure, but living in an environment where it would mean your death, you might not question. Sadly, you might not ever fully be the person you were meant to be.



So, good on ya for asking and not just assuming. Don't ever apologize for not knowing something.



And I promise you this ... you do know several people who are gay, bi, lesbian, or trans.



I don't 'look' gay, whatever that means. I have had it happen more then once, a persons learns that I am gay and says, "But you don't look gay" or "But you look so nice" or "But you are attractive, I am sure you could find a man" or … and I love this one "Are you sure?"

Jocelyn - posted on 12/13/2010

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I am bi, and the only thing that I wish for my kids is that they are able to find someone who they love and who treats them rights. What sexual preference they end up having doesn't matter to me. Very rarely do you find an intolerant lesbian lol

Bonnie - posted on 12/13/2010

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I am not gay either, but I would like to think that gay parents would treat their children the same way that straight parents would. Be happy and supportive of their children no matter what their sexual orientation is. Respect them for who they are.

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25 Comments

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Vanessa - posted on 08/31/2011

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Speaking as a Lesbian Mom: I want my children to be happy (that's an inside out job). I will love my children, no matter what or whom they decide to be with! Thanks for asking the question. When in doubt, always check it out....

Tanya - posted on 12/15/2010

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Hmmmm,you have me thinking now!! lol. I am thinking maybe of course that they love them no matter what, but perhaps being gay is harder for some people to accept in this world so maybe they would hope they were straight...I am not anti gay, I have no problem with gay people and if any of my 3 children are gay I would love them the same.

Bekisu - posted on 12/15/2010

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my sista being a lesiban does nt make the kids gay or what ever,i think it has some tin to do with wat u want in life,

Jocelyn - posted on 12/14/2010

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I am married to a man too :) That's just the way the cards were dealt lol.

JuLeah - posted on 12/14/2010

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@ Christi - married to a man? I respect that you refer to yourself as bi. It is easy for women to 'play straight' in such situations, harder to hold a label others hate :)

Christi - posted on 12/14/2010

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I am bi and have had a couple of girlfriends in the past, but I am now married. Honestly, I don't care if my son is gay or straight or bi. I really don't see a difference. You are who you are.

Chanel - posted on 12/14/2010

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HI there! I think it's better that your asking than assuming anything and trying to learn. I am a straight woman but have friends who are homosexual/lesbian. This doesn't mean I'm speaking for all but I would have to say that they would just want their children to be happy and excepted, in what ever they do or whoever they end up falling in love with. Anywho hope this helps. Besides wouldn't it be kind of wrong and hipacritical for a homosexual or lesbian parent to have a preference in what orientation they want their child to be. Just a thought.

Tracy - posted on 12/14/2010

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I've had many, many gay friends over the years. Some of my friends I grew up with had gay parents. You know what? It didn't matter. The parents wanted their kids happy. Us kids were pretty much oblivious to the whole gay/straight thing. I was well into my 20s before I realized the woman I looked at as my 2nd mom was gay. It was a non-issue. And what did I care what she did in her bedroom? Not like I knew when my dad was having straight sex, either.

Sexual orientation, skin color, religion, it's all up to you as a family on how much of an issue you want to make it. My two kids are oblivious to prejudices because we don't have them. It's a waste of time.

Merry - posted on 12/14/2010

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Thanks so much ladies!
I think I was wondering mostly cuz I know how most straight par tents, I say most, seem to want straight kids.
You know, that's why it seems to be such a hard thing for teens to come out to their parents cuz they know that they will disappoint their parents.
I know this isn't everyones experience but on tv it sure is the standard.
So I was thinking don't most parents want their kids to either follow in their footsteps, or to avoid painful things they went through.
So I thought that if a parent had a horrible experience with people not accepting their sexual orientation then they might want their kids to not have to go through that.
Or maybe they just want their kids to be 'like them' and so would hope they were also gay.
I'm sure deep down we all just want happy healthy kids, but I know for me at least I also have some wishes for Eric that I wouldn't exactly push on him, but I still dream of!

JuLeah - posted on 12/13/2010

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It is funny. One woman said, "Wait. Your gay? You are not attracted to me are you?"
I assured her I was not.
She was offended. "Why not? What's wrong with me?"

Stifler's - posted on 12/13/2010

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I'm not gay but I think that gay parents would wants their kids be whatever they were. Lots of people who are gay have straight parents so I think it would work the same way!

Sneaky - posted on 12/13/2010

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Sorry JuLeah, I had to hit the 'funny' button over "are you sure?" Hilarious!

Sneaky - posted on 12/13/2010

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I'm pretty sure I don't need to answer this question since every response has been the same! I just wanted to say Laura, that I think you asked that question beautifully with kindness and respect (and curiosity). Great work!

Medic - posted on 12/13/2010

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My biological mother is lesbian and she wouldn't care either way as long as I am happy. She never tried to sway me either way and she was way more understanding of my wierdness in highschool and all of those phases.

Krista - posted on 12/13/2010

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First, Laura, I think it's fantastic that you asked this. A lot of people who don't know about these things just tend to jump to conclusions instead, and sometimes those conclusions can be very damaging. So kudos to you for asking.



I'm definitely not lesbian, and at most, could describe myself as bi-curious. But speaking for myself, and from talking to gay friends of mine who have/want kids, they really, genuinely do not care whether their children are gay, bi or straight, as long as they are in a healthy and happy relationship. Gay people know all too well what it feels like to be judged for one's sexuality. Some of them have been rejected by their parents for it. So I would think that they would be the LAST people who would judge their own kids for something like that.

Laura - posted on 12/13/2010

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I'm straight but have several gay and bi friends with kids. They all want the same thing for their kids that I want for mine: To be happy, healthy and safe. The sexual orientation of their children doesn't matter one bit. They want their kids to have happy, healthy relationships based on trust and love. That's what I want for my daughter as well.

Amber - posted on 12/13/2010

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I have a couple gay friends. And they've basically said that they know what it's like to try to pretend to be something you aren't. They would never want their own children to be anything other than who they are, either way.
It's not a decision that you make, it's who you are.

Firebird - posted on 12/13/2010

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Well I'm straight, and I don't necessarily hope that my daughter will grow up to be straight. I want her to be happy, no matter what it takes. I do have a few gay friends and this actually has come up in conversation before. None of them have children yet, but basically they told me that they feel the same way. Whatever makes their future kids happy is perfectly ok with them.

Amy - posted on 12/13/2010

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I am not gay but I have many many friends who are, they want healthy happy kids just like any other parents. They are accepting of their children no matter if they are straight or gay they just want what is best for them and what makes them happy.

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