Question for Moms of Boys About Women

[deleted account] ( 26 moms have responded )

How old is too old to allow your son to come into a women's restroom when you are out in public? How young was too young to allow your liitle boy to use the men's room by himself?





My son is 4 now, and he's never even questioned going to the women's room with me until recently. He definately knows the difference between the boy's room sign and girl's room sign. He knows that when he is with me, we use the girl's room, and when he is with Daddy, (or uncle, or Grandpa) he uses the boy's room. ( My son likes using the urinals, and he actually loves to tell me all about them!) At our public library, I allow my son to use the bathroom by himself in the kid's section-but I am right at that door. It's a small bathroom. Anywhere else in public, he never ever goes by himself. There is ALWAYS an adult or and I need to check for the cleanliness of the bathrooms. Too many weirdos out there in public! The other day in the mall, there was a mom with her 2 boys-in the women's restroom-maybe age 5 & 8ish? I really didn't think twice about it. My sister allows her 7 1/2 year old son to use a restroom (like at a mall or bookstore) by himself, and this is only recently she is allowing him to go by himself.

26 Comments

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Cindy - posted on 06/06/2012

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If my husband is with us he takes our son who is 6,but if it's just me and my son he goes with me to the bathroom (which he is shy and don't like strangers). I have heard to many stories of bad things happening to kids so until he is old enough and I feel comfortable he will still go with me. I don't care if other women stare or say something about me..... I am him mom and I am suppose to protect him.

Sheba - posted on 07/13/2009

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hi ,
this is actually a question on how safe are public bathrooms for such young boys to be goin on their own . I would suggest to you that you should desist for as long as possible till the time your child understands on how to safe guard himself against molesters ....its not a safe world out there anywhere so please be careful .it is more important that your child remains protected and safe than have him know athe etiquites of which rest rom to use .........bye for now be safe and be happy

Louise - posted on 07/11/2009

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Hello Sharon, I have been wondering about this myself as I have a 5 year old son. So wisely I asked my Mom what she did in the case of my brothers. She said as soon as they started noticing ladies had "different parts" and childishly remarking about them, she sent them off on their own - around age 7. This is only a guideline as the world is a wierder place now. Also depends on the personality of the child. My daughter is 8 and often goes on her own, but with me close by. But I know she would scream and make a fuss if something was wrong. Not too sure about my son, who withdraws when in a stressful or embarrassing situation. Personally I think there is no harm in keeping your son with you unless someone else in the room minds about it. Then simply wait outside if the need in not urgent, til they are done and use the room after them. Your child's safety is your prime concern.

Reina - posted on 07/10/2009

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I think that you will know if and when it is safe for your child to use the restrooms at public places. If that means my 10 year old boy will go to the restroom with me so be it, there's definitely to weird and dangers people out there.

Melissa - posted on 07/10/2009

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My Mother told me a horror story of one little boy who was mutilated after being sent into a public men's room alone. That was in the 1960's. I think that with all that is going on in the world today that we do what we feel is right for us and our children. If you are shopping alone with your 7 year old and feel that you need to accompany him to the restroom...by all means take him to the Ladies room. Moms usually know best, so trust your feelings and who cares what others think. The safety of your children is number 1. If your son is shaving, I might think twice though, lol

[deleted account]

I have 3y and nearly 8y old boys and they always come to ladies room if I am out alone. I don't think anyone bats an eyelid at my older boy and I think all ladies will understand that a mum on her own can't enter the mens room. So it really is just personal choice, and I for one will continue to use the ladies until I feel more comfortable.

Tanya - posted on 07/10/2009

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as long as you can, with everything you hear about strange men out there you can never be to carefull, and when it comes to our children we have to protect them as much as we can, my son is only 3 but he will be going with me or daddy for ever if i can help it

Iris - posted on 07/10/2009

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My son is 4.5y now, he started going to men's room by himself short after he started kindergarten, that was when he was around 3, I just wait outside. He insisted of doing it because it made him felt like a "man". If your boy already attend school, he should have no problem going to men's room by himself because kids go to bathroom by themselves in school.

Viki - posted on 07/09/2009

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Thanks for puting the question out there. My son is 8 and he still comes in with me. I was wondering if people thought I was too protective, not that I really care, but... So it's good to know I've got lots of like minded Mums out there! Thanks!!

[deleted account]

Womens restroom? What does it matter? When they feel embaressed about it, I guess. I don't think anyone else would care, I certainly don't.

[deleted account]

I asked this question to a few friends of mine. One friend still makes her 12 year old son come into the ladies room, and kinda basically put his nose in the corner far away from any stalls. She doesn't trust him standing outside the door. Most of my friends said about 12ish (give or take) boys don't need to be in a women's restroom. But I completely understand if a special needs boy is in the women's room with his mom.

Deb - posted on 07/09/2009

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when ever your comfortable your first job is to protect your son but not smother him. good luck

Jane - posted on 07/09/2009

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I'm a single mum and I too have that worry. My son is 8yo and often I have my two small girls with me and we all use the mothers room if its available as I often have to change my youngest. I am anxious about letting him use the mens room by himself. I have become a bit bossy about everyone going to the toilet before we go out so I can try and avoid that problem. I have no solutions or ideas to help. I agree that there is too many weirdos out there to let my son go by himself. When he is older I'll have to review my decision but for now he comes with me

Kristin - posted on 07/09/2009

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I have a 7 1/2 year old son and he goes into the bathroom with me! There are a few places I allow him on his own, like our church or a single stall men's bathroom. Our local bookstore and .99 store is single stall. So I am ok with that. But you said it, too many wierdos out there and frankly I rather have some woman embarrased about a young boy in the bathroom then my boy getting hurt by some crazy man just waiting to have his moment and scaring him for life. My son has never been embarrased or asked if he can use the mens room.

Stacey - posted on 07/09/2009

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I have girls, but if I had boys they would be coming with me if dad wasn't with us. I have no problem with boys in the ladies room, as long as they are gentlemen. I did have on kid pearing through the crack at everyone, didn't appreciate that. But I do agree that I would not want my child going into a restroom alone, to may freaks out there. Plus you can let him know that if he ever has anyone bug him in the restroom when he does go alone, to just start screaming. Then you know to bust in and that would also probably scare off any wierd ones.

[deleted account]

My son is 6 and he still goes with me to the ladies room. Since he's my only boy and Dad isn't often with us, I can't think of any other way to do it. I'll probably let him go by himself in the next couple of years just because I don't want to make the women feel uncomfortable in the ladies room. I'll stand outside the door and fret, no doubt. ha I live in a smallish Midwestern town. If I lived in a large city I cannot imagine what I would do!

Lorry - posted on 07/09/2009

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My boys are 10 and 8 and only use the men's room if it's like a single use bathroom or their dad is with them. I'll sometimes send them in together and I'll stand right outside the door if it's a multiuse bathroom in a quiet area. I don't trust anyone. :) My kids don't question it and until they do (not as likely to happen soon since my oldest is autistic and more unaware of social rules) they'll go with me. My oldest is almost 5 ft tall and I'm kinda waiting for someone to say something but my kids are polite, quiet and neat when they are in there so no one has. Actually if they watched my son for a few minutes, they might guess that he's a "different sort of kid" and then let it pass. I was just very big on them learning how to be respectful of the ladies' privacy while in there.

Tamee - posted on 07/09/2009

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i have a 6 yr old and he always comes with me to the womans unless there ia a family room and i will not let him go on his own for a while yet

Sherri - posted on 07/09/2009

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It is hard to decide when to let them go by themselves. I have an 11 year old and I stand outside the door and wait on him and if my daughter and I go in the ladies I make him wait right there by the door. I agree with you on the weirdo issue! Do not be afraid to warn them. I tell mine a little at a time as their freedom grows.

Donna - posted on 07/09/2009

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Hi my son is almost 13 now and I still hold my breath when he goes into the men's room by himself. I made him come into the ladies with me until about 7 or 8 and then I would find him a disabled toilet that I knew only had the one toilet in it and would stand right outside the door and wait for him. I know that you risk inconveniencing someone who needs the disabled loo but little boys are usually pretty quick and I would rather know that he was safe than send him off on his own. Other than that you can find the parents rooms that have the childs toilet in them. (That is if they have them where you live)

Celeste - posted on 07/09/2009

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My son is 10 and he still uses the women's restroom when I am in there. The only time he will use the men's restroom is when his older brothers are there with him. I am trying to break him out of it but going through this three other times, he will grow out of it. My boys, the first three, grew out of the ladies room with mom when they turned 11.

Heidi - posted on 07/09/2009

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It depends on the place. I have a seven year old and some places I will let him go into the men's room alone and wait right outside but other places, I have him come with me into the ladie's room. Many places now are doing unisex or what they call "family" bathrooms that allow for these types of situations.

[deleted account]

Well I have to admit I've seen some nasty women's restrooms too, especially on our recent roadtrip. I walked right out and asked my husband to check out the men's room. A majority of these stops were in fast food places or grocery stores. I try to teach my son about a clean bathroom vs. a dirty one, but it's not quite clicking yet.

Nicole - posted on 07/08/2009

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My son is almost 8 and I still bring him into the Ladies room with me. On few occasions I allow him to use the men's room with me waiting outside the door, only if it is a small "safe" place (like the childrens library). I have made it clear to my son that the restrooms are for family use. Some places actually have "family" restrooms.
as for cleanliness...I stress to him not to touch anything and to wash his hands thoroughly.

Nicole - posted on 07/08/2009

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I don't think anything of it when I see young boys with their mom in the women's restroom. I think they're too old when they hit puberty, but by then they should be going to the boy's room on their own. And I agree with the weirdos and nasty public bathrooms! My husband always tells me about how gross the men's rooms are. I would just take him to a family restroom if they have one, otherwise he's coming with me to the ladies room!

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