Question for moms or teachers out there about whether my experience with my daughters kindergarten is normal or if there is a problem.

Mallory - posted on 12/16/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My daughter started kindergarten this past Fall and over the first few weeks I received consistent phone calls about her behavior, such as running off, hiding, not listening, and 3 times for hitting and was told I needed to pick her up at least 2 times a week. I was obviously concerned as the behavior at home was fine. After trying techniques (peer modeling, sticker chart, removal of privileges, helping her express how she is feeling, token economy) at home I set an appointment with a child psychologist to determine if the problem was me or her. I kept a journal of my daughters behavior problems at school to look for triggers that were causing the behavior, but after a few meetings with the child psychologist, she said that my daughter behavior was typical, and there was nothing she could tell me to do differently. My daughter began to wet the bed on nights before school, and refused to let me leave her at school.Her teacher seemed to not care, and was content to just send her to the home, without following up with details. My daughter come home upset saying the teacher did not like her and the other kids will not play with her because she is "bad." The lack of communication from the teacher prompted me to meet with the principle which resulted in her switching classes, to give her a fresh start. I also reduced the amount of time she was in school to 2 hours, and because the behavior was occurring at school, not at home, I volunteered in the school library while she was in class to address the problems. Since than she has done better, but I only know this because I can check in on her class to see how she is doing, not because the teacher has anything nice to say. After a few weeks of no incidents I decided to let the teacher know that I would be going home while she was at school, because I had to work, but was informed by the teacher that she would have to discuss this with the principle, I was a little offended that the teacher felt I needed "permission" to go home, especially because it was my idea to stay in the first place. The principle however informed me that I could go, and I did not need her permission. A few weeks later she was still doing well, so I decided to increase her time at school, however once again the teacher said she needed to discuss it with the principle, and than received an e-mail dictating to me what she and the principle decided that my daughter should not increase her time, without including me in the conversation. I just received her progress report today with all 1's, even in subjects she is not there to attend and discovered she was excluded from the school Christmas concert tomorrow, which all the other students in the school are participating in. I feel heartbroken for my child, on the progress report the goal my daughter choose was to "try harder to be good" which shows how much she wants to please us. I am at a loss of what to do, I am crying, she is crying, I cannot sleep. i just do not know how to help her because I cannot figure out what the problem is, or what I can do differently.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/19/2014

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Well, communication is the key. There should be a scheduled sit down with the teachers, and the principal and get to the bottom of this. Is there a chance you are taking the situation out of context? Of course. Is there a chance they are the problem? Yup. The problem stems from lack of communication. You are right, Charter schools are extremely difficult to get into...and usually once you are in you don't DARE leave. I know. I left one. I regret it. But I was moving over an hour away, so I had to. Great school, but yes a lot of issues. But the education was top notch. BUT, not ALL charter schools are incredible. You just need to figure this out with the staff and the people that are educating your child.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/18/2014

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If the school will not communicate with you, "excellent" school or not, they are not meeting your needs, nor the needs of your daughter.

Part of their JOB is to communicate with parents and work towards a solution.

Mallory - posted on 12/18/2014

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The school is a charter school that uses the latest in developmental techniques, and it is really difficult to get a child in. My concern is being "that parent" who cannot believe their child is behaving badly. What if I take her out and than the next school has problems with her? I could be putting her at a disadvantage by taking her out if the problem is her, but I could be doing irrecoverable damage to her by keeping her there if it is the school. I just cannot pinpoint what the problem is... Would you say that it is definitely the school, and I am not in denial that my daughter has problems?

Brittany - posted on 12/17/2014

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I commend you for sticking with your daughter and trying to get to the root of the problem. I am sorry to hear that all of this is going on. I used to teach and I don't see how the school can do that without including you in the decision. Have you talked to anyone on the school board?

Live, Laugh, and Cantor on

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/17/2014

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Find another school that will fit her needs better.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/17/2014

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You need to find another school for your child. Point blank.

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