Question of Unreasonable Expectations

Shea - posted on 12/05/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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First let me say I was born in 1977 not 1982. I'm not sure why 1982 was the oldest option I could chose.



I want to ask all of you fellow SAHM, how much I can reasonably expect my husband to help with around the house and how much can he reasonably expect from me? I have a 13 month old who was born 4 months early and as a result is developmentally about 6-7 months right now. She has a physical therapist, occupational therapist and a cognitive therapist who all visit twice a month. I work with her on a daily basis as well. I'm also trying to introduce table foods and not having much luck, as with most preemies she has texture issues. These activities take up a good bit of my day.



He expects the house to be "company ready" at all times and assumes that since it isn't that I take no pride in our home or my job as a SAHM. I'm getting increasingly frustrated because I feel that his expectations are unreasonable. He doesn't understand, since I don't do anything all day, why I can't accomplish these things. Any thoughts on how to help him understand?

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User - posted on 12/05/2012

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I am hesitant to leave her. She was born so early and we lost her brother and sister (she's a triplet) and we almost lost her too. Although stable now, that could change and I would never forgive myself if something happened and I wasn't here. I'm not sure how long it will be until I feel comfortable leaving her for an entire day. So far, I've only left her a couple hours at a time. I know I will need to be able to leave her for her sake and mine I'm just not ready yet.

Ashley - posted on 12/05/2012

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plan one day a week that you can clean your house from top to bottom, every week. pick another day to do your laundry, or you could do a couple loads every day to stay on top of it. then, every day all you have to do is keep the house picked up. pick toys up every night, make sure dirty clothes are in baskets, make beds every morning, take trash out every night, do dishes every night after dinner. maybe vacuum, and dust as needed throughout the week. that will help u to stay on top of things, and not take so much time during the day.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/05/2012

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Why not now? He is the father, and your child is not an infant any more. Honestly, it sounds a little like you are nervous to leave your baby alone with anyone. It would be healthy for you also to know it is ok for you to leave. That your baby will be ok without you. I know it is hard to do, but you can do it. Sounds like your husband really needs to understand how hard it is, but enjoy spending time with your baby also.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/05/2012

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Well, one way for him to understand, if you can leave him and the baby alone for a weekend so he can see how difficult it is. Maybe take a weekend and go visit your family or friends. Sometimes men do not understand how hard it is to raise a child and keep the house up. It is unfair expectations. Our jobs are 24/7. Some men think that their 8hour job is it, and can come home and do nothing. I know what it is to be a working mom, and a stay at home mom. Let me tell you, a working mom still comes home and works.

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