MarG - posted on 01/13/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )
I have been married to my husband since August 2014. My husband is actually raising a boy who is actually not his biological son. My husband used to be married to this boy but they divorced over 14 years ago. My husband and his ex-wife had 2 kids together who are now adults. After their divorce she had 2 other sons with 2 other different men. My husbands ex-wife passed away while DWI at that time, my husband being the sweet caring man that he is, took on this boy, who at the time was only 1 year old, since no one knew who the biological father was, and my husband had babysat this boy at times, and the boy only knew my husband in a male role.
The night of the death of the ex-wife/mother of the boy, she had actually asked my husband to go along with her and her friend as their designated driver; however, my husband not really a drinking man, said no.
Since the death of the ex-wife/the boy's mother, my husband has raised his two kids, now adults and this one boy by himself. He never remarried until 2014 when I came into the picture.
Although my husband will not admit it, I believe that my husband has let guilt get in the way of raising this boy, now my stepson. My stepson up until the time that I came into the picture, did not have structure, responsibilities, accountability, or discipline. He is now 10 years old and spoiled to the point that all he had to do was cry and my husband would feel sorry for him and he would get away with everything.
It has been 1 1/2 years since we met and then got married, yes we married in 2 months, and we have had nothing but trouble with this son. Trouble in school as to a lack of effort of doing his school work and home work, as well as his behavior. This is the second year going through all of this at school. This year, his report cards have been F's in all classes. No joke! He has been sent to Deans office a number of times, and talk about me receiving emails from his on his behavior and lack of effort.
He doesn't respect me nor my husband. Takes things for granted and has this sense of entitlement. Does not say thank you to me for his Christmas gifts or anything for that matter. When I first met this boy, he began to destroy my personal property and furniture at my house, and the first time I caught him, my husband said "if I tell him anything, he will cry".
This is what I am dealing with. I raised my 2 sons who are now 26 and 30, so I know what it is to raise boys. The problems and issues we have with this kid, I can honestly say that I never experienced with my sons.
We have taken away all his electronic usage, etc. but still nothing phases him. I do not believe in rewarding bad behavior or bad grades, so we even cancelled the family vacation.
Does anyone have any ideas as to how to deal with this? I'm exhausted and ...........