raising niece(9) and nephew(7)

Aimee - posted on 06/25/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )

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Hi I have never reached out to any of these groups but am in a situation now where it is becoming difficult. I along with my mum (their nana) dad (grandad) and brother (uncle) are all raising these beautiful children together. their father (my oldest brother, 29) is a drug addict in is currently in jail for 2 years and has been for the majority of their lives on and off. he loves his kids but has a lot of issues and drug problems, he has never put their life in harm and they have lived with us for the last 5 and a half years. their mother took off with them, along with zoe who is ten and a half now she is not biologically related to us but has been our family before she was born, the mother was 3 months pregnant with her when she got together with my brother and is loved by us as much as the other children. anyway she took all three kids the day my brother got released from jail and we had to file missing persins reports and were devastated for months before she finally contacted us. it was about four months later when we heard from her again. side note: she was loved as a sister by me and my brother, a daughter to my mother and father and it was such a shock when it all happened. anyway my mum flew to south Australia (we are in qld) and flew back with sarah and zoe, they were here for 3 months and we raised them ( she was suppose to fly over a week later with kacy the baby but didn't for this long). she came here with him eventually and was here a week then in the middle of the night took zoe and left. she rang and said she would be back in a month. we heard from her less than 10 phone calls and then that was it. we tried to call her, contacted the police, her mother her aunt, any one we could think off and never heard from her again. four days ago we received a court order suing for custody off the kids saying we cut her out and refused her access to her kids. this is complete lies. we have the money to fight her, its going to cost about 60 000 dollars but my dad has already put this in a trust account with the solicitors to fight her. my question is. what do we tell them now. they don't remember her. we have always told them that some mummys love their kids soo much but just don't know how to look after them properly so they let us love them and raise them. we have never said anything bad about her to them (though it has been very tempting to lately) we have tried to do the right thing by them and let them know that their mummy still loves them and everything. how do I now tell them that they are going to see their mum and still make them feel safe that their life isn't going to change on them. this is the biggest and hardest thing I have ever had to face I don't know how to be strong for them and let them know its ok to want to see her. it is so hard and is breaking my heart, I don't want them to be scared or afraid. we have no choice but to let her see them. I want them to have a mother but she is not their mummy. she gave birth to them but that is all she has done for them. I feel torn between two. not wanting her to see them, I feel like she gave up that right when she abanded her children, and it is so selfish of her to turn their lives upside down now. but in saying that I know we have no choice now. it is just so hard and don't know anyone in the same situation. I have no one to ask advice from or even talk to that will know how im feeling.

if there is anyone out there in a similar situation please post back I am scared and at a lost. I don't know what to do

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