Reached my breaking point please help?!?

Rachel - posted on 09/04/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I've had issues with my parents since I got pregnant with my daughter. We were I'm a family vacation and kept fighting with me and a stressing me out and Acting like a child.. Saying that she wouldn't come to the where I would be and not understanding that I was trying not to fight and cause problems by dealing with everything while surrounded by family.. It wasn't the time or place. Snf from there it just kept getting worse she would be made that she didn't have a day in how we wanted to raise our daughter. Along the way me and my sister had a falling out and no longer speak and in the begining everything came back to how my sister would feel or react to the decisions I would make. We we found out we were pregnant with our son things got even worse my sister is older them
E and was having complications getting pregnant including an ectopic pregnancy and loss of one of her overies I felt terrible but didn't know how to respond and was not okay with being made to feel bad because of the family I was creating. Me and my sister had another huge fight and my sister went running to my parents and them called and jumped downy my throat taking her side without asking mine and my mother basically told me and sick a d need help for saying all these horrible insensitive things that my sister said and never happened about her not being able to have kids. We have stopped talking on and off over the past 3 years and everytime I found try and work on things is was the same thing seeming that my mother was more concerned about my sisters feelings and how things would affect her over me .. Good example me and my husband were married by a justice of the piece and started planning a "real" wedding me and my sister haven't spoken in over a year and my mothers first concern was if my sister was going to be invited and I said I did t know and my mother told me she couldn't go forward helping me plan our wedding and didn't even come with me to my wedding dress my mil came instead. So basically the question I want to ask is what would you do .. My dad who I still talk with keeps trying bring my mom around and bridge the gap but my husband hates my mother with reason I guess I'm more willing yo try again with her and see if we can have some kind of relationship but he's done and doesn't want her around him or the kids and I don't him I just feel stuck .. I don't know if our marriage will survive another blow out and I feel bad even asking him to give another chance because we have both given her so many already.

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Jacquelyn - posted on 09/05/2013

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I think your mother is concerned about your sisters feelings, which is why she is taking it out on you. Its not about your children, or you she hates. Its the feeling she is getting that puts her in a frame of mind that (I guess from your response) when talking to you, or in person, she gets mad. So, what I would suggest is to talk to your sister. First of all, try to explain that what you said where not what your Mom believes you said. And try to make amends. Gifts are always nice with a in person talk, so bring some muffins from a store or homemade, or a loaf, and see what you can do with your sister so when you both approach your Mom she can feel happy. I would talk to your Mom together so that she knows your sister is okay, and you are making your sister not feel bad about what her experiences in this life with her body and been. I would also try to have some kid friendly things that are laughable. Send a funny picture or video to your sister, to your Mom, with you and your children (for example food on their faces, a drawing, trying to skip etc.) to help the family get back together. Laughter always cures. So does prayer. God Bless. :)

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