Kim - posted on 10/18/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )
I read some of the text messages between my 14 yr. old daughter and the 14-yr. old boy she likes at school. The conversations generally go something like: He says "you're really pretty... i don't know why you like me... i'm such a loser" and she says "you're amazing, and sweet... I can't believe you like me!"... I'm paraphrasing but that is the general idea... Then I read two messages that were extremely disturbing - on one day he wrote "I felt terrible all day - i either wanted to cry or kill someone" - and a couple of days later "If I came to school and killed someone, that would ruin your day"... My daughter is a smart, pretty girl, plays sports and is active in our church and I am shocked to read the messages and how she puts herself down ('I'm not smart / I'm not pretty / I'm not a good person'); and this boy feels even worse about himself ('the world would be better off without me / i'm such a loser / I'm worthless'). I'm just so upset I don't know what to do - I feel bad that I read the messages, because I feel like I violated her trust, but I also feel like I need to address the things this boy is saying to her, and about how relationships really work. This whole relationship via text is so strange. They never talk on the phone, and barely talk at school... Do any of you have advice for me on what to do! I never imagined my daughter felt bad about herself - I don't know if she's just acting like this because of the things the boy is saying, and the things this boy is saying scare me! Please help!!