Medic - posted on 12/11/2011 ( 36 moms have responded )
OH MY GOD!!!!! ok now that I have that out of my system, I seriously think I am losing my mind. I mean I never thought I was all powerful but apparently I am.
My ex is the bio father of my son who is now 5 years. He left when he was 2 months old for another party to get fucked up so I changed the locks and threw his shit out. I let him have one of my cars just so he would leave. He saw my son every so often, his parents and 4 brothers saw him all the time.
My divorce was finalized right after my son turned a year and my ex was granted very limited supervised visits. His mom was the one I chose to supervise them and she was fantastic. Sadly his bio dad chose to not show up and party instead. My ex's mom continued to take my son on the visit dates and any other dates I needed help with. She made sure I had money to get my son whatever he needed because my ex refused to pay child support.
When my son was 18 months I remarried an amazing man I had known for a while but who had been in our lives since my son was 6 months old. Ultimately my ex decided to sign his rights over when my son was about 3.5 because he did not want to pay child support. My husband wanted to adopt him and the courts granted all this right after my son turned 4 and our daughter turned 1.
My ex was ordered to pay the 10,000 in back child support and was told that it would be taken out of his tax return or checks until it had been paid.
Well he has been with his gf for a few years now and they have a baby that just turned one. Granted they live in the slums and I seriously feel sorry for that child but hey its not mine. She hates my son and hates that I have rules for his bio dad to see him(which he doesn't so it really does not matter)
Ok to my point, his bio dad called the other day to yell because his family has been seeing my son regularly and they include my daughter in everything. He is mad because they do not tell him anything. My feeling is that I have told him if he wanted a relationship with him he can call, I have NEVER told him he could not talk to my son, I also do not put up with his pity party. It is not my fault or my sons fault that he cannot stay out of jail and off drugs. Good for him that he found a girl that has such low self worth that she puts up with it. He says he will call every Tuesday, never has, when he does call he just crys about his situation and how it isn't fair that the state took his and his gf's tax return to give to us because we don't need it. I honestly do not feel bad and I do not feel bad for his girl, she knew he had a son he was only allowed to have supervised visits with, and that he owed child support. She chose to file joint taxes. Granted she does drive my old car and it drives her nuts that everyone knows that it was mine and my ex only got it in the divorce because he had wrecked the first car I let him have and my now husband and dad had bought me a new suv. He likes to tell me all of this is my fault and that if I would have helped him more he wouldn't be having all this trouble and his family would want to see him and his gf and their daughter. I don't blame his family, all they do is ask for money and use that baby to try and get what they want. My son is the only grandchild that they have not had to totally support.
I guess am I wrong for just not caring anymore, I don't hate him, I'm not mad but it is HIS job to have a relationship with my son. He chose to give up his rights and there was someone there to step up.
I dunno I know this is crazy long and all over the place.