reasonable rules for 13 year old boy

Tricia - posted on 07/19/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




We adopted our 13 year old son from Russia when he was 8 and his traumatic past left him with a slew of mental health issues that manifest in bad behavior, including bullying, defiance, explosive anger, stealing and constant lying and arguing. His behaviour and lack of good decision making skills have forced us to employ strict rules and constant vigilance. He cannot do many things I think a kid his age should be able to do. I want to try to loosen some of his restrictions and try to 1) help him grow into responsibility and privileges appropriate for his age and 2) bring some measure of peace to our stressed out and angry home. What are reasonable restrictions, responsibilities, and privileges for a boy his age?


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Ev - posted on 07/19/2014




You said he had a traumatic past. Have you had him in counceling? A lot of this behavior could be from the trauma he had been exposed to as a young child and causing the mental issues he has now.

Chet - posted on 07/19/2014




This is nearly impossible to answer. It's so specific to your child and to your situation. Where we live kids who are 12 take public transit to school. There's lots of 12 and 13 year olds on the subway. Other places, nobody would consider letting a 13 year travel without supervision. Young teens are always dropped off and picked up.

One aspect I would try to focus on though is setting your son up for success. Find privileges he will enjoy, and that are just the right balance of challenging and comfortable.

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