Rebelious teenagers

Belinda Van - posted on 01/09/2015 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Please provide me with tips on how to dissipline teenagers.
I have two teenagers one boy (17) and girl (15), who are very rebellious, self centered, disrespectful and challenges everything I say.

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Sarah - posted on 01/09/2015

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The time we stripped the bedroom, it fit the crime. It 's just nice to read someone does not think it constitutes abuse or neglect. Thankfully it was just the one time, because it was a huge pain in the butt to take the bed out and the door off the hinges!
Consistency, no doubt, is your ticket to success. I took my daughter's laptop away. She thought she had me when she told me her whole research paper was on her laptop and she needed to proofread it for school. I told her that was too bad. Kids can always back up their work to google or dropbox and then use the household desktop to do their work. She learned, never has lost her computer since.

Jodi - posted on 01/09/2015

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I've actually never had to do it with my kids, the usual removal of phone, computer privileges, grounding has always worked. But my kids know I would if they pushed it!! Definitely stripping down to virtually nothing would be a last resort, but I'd do it if necessary to get the point across about the difference between rights and privileges!

Another thing I forgot to add is be consistent. Sometimes that can be difficult, especially when you are frustrated or tired. There are times when it is more effort to follow through with the consequences than you can bother with right at that moment, or that you have time for. It doesn't matter. You still have to follow through, regardless. If you are inconsistent about it, the behaviours won't change.

Sarah - posted on 01/09/2015

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Jodi is right, we did this once for our son. He was 15, taller and faster than me, so he decided he was no longer going to follow the rules. He came home to a pillow, blanket, flashlight and one clean change of clothes. After two days, he apologized and each day of appropriate behavior he got to pick what we returned. It was an enormous hassle, but it happened one time to one of my four kids. I can't imagine any of my kids pushing the boundaries because they know what will happen. I have posted this several times and have met with some criticism that I was neglecting my child's needs. To me, my child needed my guidance more than his bed, privacy, laptop or clothes. You do not need to start with stripping the whole room. But, if you start taking away things and the behavior continues, stick to your plan.

Jodi - posted on 01/09/2015

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Are you still cooking for them, cleaning for them, doing their laundry, running them around places? Let them know that you don't do all thos things for people in the house who are disrespectful, and that they are nearly adults, it's time to learn that lesson. Cut off their internet, tv, and if you have to, strip their room, because everything in there but a mattress, blanket and a few basic clothes are all "privileges". They can earn them back. I know it sounds harsh, but if they think it's okay to walk all over you, then they don't deserve you providing anything for them but the basics in life, and that does NOT include a maid service.

Belinda Van - posted on 01/09/2015

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Taking away priviledges and not granting them their requests, example not buying them airtime, no pocket money, no going out to friends or taking them places.

Jodi - posted on 01/09/2015

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And so far, what have been their consequences? I'm assuming if the behaviour is continuing and ongoing, it is working for them?

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