Ann - posted on 12/14/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )
Hi - I'm new to this website and community...Boy, could I have used this connection during my children's younger lives! I have a question for all moms of college kids. My college duaghter has not come home for any of the major holidays. Again, after speaking with her tonight, she's choosing not to come home. Her college is in a little dead-end town, with nothing much to do there. She's decided to take on a job (which is causing her schoolwork to suffer...), and is saying that she "has" to work over part of this Christmas holiday.. Now she's telling us she's driviing to a guy's apartment to spend part of the vacation with him ((he's not in college, is older, and she's known him for maybe 5 weeks. Have any of you had this problen/situation? She's been terribly rebellious ever since age 13 - and my permissive spouse allowed her to get away with so many things....cursing at me, not doing chores, no expectations as far as grades, helping around the house, etc. And, btw, I've always been the "mean mom" who tried to get my kids to do the minimum at our house...Anyway, my spouse is the same, and refuses to talk with her further and set the "loving" expectation for her to come home and spend some positive family time. what do I do? How do I cope with yet another disappointment? None of my vast array of friends have ever gone through this with their children. I think it's not healthy, and not teaching her about the importance of family time. Not to mention going to a guy's apartment with whom she barely knows. Any tips or advice? (Any psychologists care to offer your opinion?) thanks so much!!!