Recently divorced, having emotions that EX remarried already, how to move on

Tina - posted on 09/30/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I was married for 13 yrs, for 13 years all's my kids and i heard about from my EX was that "you do anything to keep your family together", how much he loved me and his kids", "wife and kids is everything to him", "you don't cheat, lie or steal, ppl who do that are pieces of crap", it actually became a running joke with out friends and family "how much you love your wife" haha because thats all he talked about all the time for years.....anyways, I left with the intentions that my husband would chose his wife and kids over his alcohol. I have stood by him for years of ups and downs with his alcohol, making rude and crude comments to me and the kids, embarressing us, and finally I said I have had enough. I left and he said he would quit, but didn't everytime i went back to house he would be drinking at least 2-3 beers. within 4 months our divorce was finally, we got along actually really really well until right before the divorce was finally, now we are at each others throats bc he has chosen to involve our daughter in his life with his girlfriend (our divorce papers state he can not have over night with the opposite sex when he has his daughter over night unless he is married and the same for me), our daughter doesn't understand how daddy can be with someone else already, and feels he is chosing his new girlfriend over her, but will not tell him how she feels in fear of him being mad at her. Anyways, he got remarried this past weekend and I am in just shock, we were actually still talking about working it out when he was seeing her. He said he will not be alone or go without sex. I had been ok with the divorce and him having a girlfriend, it didn't bother me, until he actually married her within 3 months of our divorce after hearing all his holier than now crap about marriage and relationships for years, it has effected much more than I ever thought it would....Now he acts like he is better than me and puts me down about everything as a mother, as a wife, as a friend like I was this horrible monster which is the furtherest from the truth, i was not perfect, but I never did anything and wouldnt that would have jeopordized our marriage. It hurts and I am not sure how to get over it...During the divorce he talked me into so many things that I got totally screwed over....I stayed home for 5 years (before that I had a nursing career) because he wanted me to...during that time I cleaned houses on the side to keep me busy while kids were in school and now I am jobless, i live with friends, and have no money and he pushed me so I pay part of the bills that were left and he makes $75,000 yearly. I am now going to school and searching and searching for a job, no luck yet. I am stll staying with my best friend and her husband, my daughter and I have our own bedrooms and bathroom and ex is now threatening to take our daughter bc he says I can't get my own place....I don't even know what to do or where to start? feeling alone, lost and confused....


Rachel - posted on 09/30/2013




As long as you can provide for your daughter, I don't see why the courts would take her from you to put her with a father that has a drinking problem.
Do not let him make you feel like a pos. You aren't. You are dealing with the hand you were dealt and picking up the pieces thanks to him. You will get back on your feet and better your lives, it just takes time.
I'm sure you don't have money for a lawyer but you could see about free legal aid or maybe someone that could work pro bono, if he takes you to court that is. He may just be threatening it to scare you into doing what he wants.
Courts don't like to rip children away from their mothers if they don't have to. You aren't abusive to her and I'm guessing you are providing for her needs.
Try not to worry about it and just work as hard as you can to find a job of any kind for now. Even if it's not something you want, just to have some income.

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