Recently My 21 year old daughter says she doesn't want me in her life.

Holly - posted on 08/31/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




My daughter was awarded to her father when she was 7 years old, never have I ever stopped calling her or sending gifts or reaching out for visits with her. Her graduation I flew over 1000 miles away, her graduation from the military I was there, not her father's side. My daughter and I would talk quite a bit over the phone, recently she has moved into her own place and since then she has out of no where lashed out at me about the past as if I gave up on her, now I know she feels that I did. I was always there, long story short...I am at a loss. I don't know what to do, how can I fix this??? She is 21 years old, I have tried to send texts letting her know how sorry I was...if I could do it all over I would. She has blocked me from social medias, so tired of being treated as if I never have cared! All I am doing is waiting, I miss her so much.


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Ev - posted on 08/31/2016




I am wondering what you expected her to think. I let my kids live with their dad because fighting him for custody all the time was not fair to them. I was there for them as much as I could be and made sure dad told me everything that pertained to making decisions for them. I never made promises I could not keep and kept the ones I did make. I also let them talk to me so they had an outlet if things at dad's house got bad and I could help them work it out so they could talk to dad.

A trip to go to a graduation that is 1000 miles away is a big deal to a kid when a parent is concerned. She was most likely expecting you to be there.

Yes, she feels like she got abandoned or feels other things about you not being there. I could not afford the cost of court to fight for them but I told them if I could I would. Did you ever tell her you loved her and wanted her with you but for certain reasons it could not be?

I can tell you I was afraid of the idea of loosing them...but in the end after the stuff I did and gave up for them,....I am closer to them than I ever thought possible.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/31/2016




Well, she may feel abandoned by you because of the distance, and not trying to pursue custody as far as she knows. Talk with her. We don't know why you chose this path, and clearly she doesn't either. She is an adult now, and these feelings did not come out of no where, but now she is in control of her life so she is taking action. This does not mean your relationship cannot be repaired. Be prepared to answer difficult questions. Be prepared for rejection. Be prepared for her cutting you out of her life until she is ready.
For YOU it may have been a big ordeal traveling 1000 miles to see your child graduate. For them, it is expected.

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