Jacklyn - posted on 02/16/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )
My son's father and I have never been married or lived together. We are not together, and tried to make things work after our son was born, but because he did not provide me with the support, partnership, fidelity or even respect I needed, I decided to end things. It was my choice, and I am content with that choice as I am no longer stressed out about him saying he cares but not being here for our son or I. The thing is, he asked me to figure things out ourselves in terms of money and visitation, and he is paying me every month what I asked which is about what I would get through court anyway, but beyond that he really isnt doing much more. My main concern is my son's upbringing. I dont feel comfortable with my son's father seeing him when its convenient or when he feels like it. Case in point, he hasnt seen him in two months (but has paid child support) and despite my effort to get him to spend time with him, he finds excuses. He says he is either too tired, or I just want to control him and tell him how to live his life. At one point, he told me to stop chasing because I dont get it. It actually hurt me a lot when he said I was chasing him romantically or trying to control him because I asked him to watch my son since I had class after work... I am a part time grad student and full time worker. Anyways, my main question is, at what point do I stop trying to get him to be in his life... I dont think i need to file for child support as he pays me. Do I just let him see him when he does make the effort? I want my son to have a relationship with his dad, but it seems like my son's father doesnt want a relationship with him.