Relationship trouble with my son's father..

Kristy - posted on 11/07/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )




Hey there mommies, my name is Kristy. i am 20 yrs old and i am a new mom of a 2 year old boy.
A little back story on our relationship: We met through mutual friends, he cheated on his ex gf with me, we were together for 2 years, got pregnant when we were 17/18, and live with my parents. He is, I guess you could say, a "bad boy". He grew up on the streets... selling drugs and trying to get by. (I dont judge because thats how he grew up, and i can understand his ways of life even if i dont accept that he does it)
I have suffered depression my whole life, and when I met my boyfriend it seemingly melted all of that away. He made me feel loved and wanted and helped me ease my emotionally exhausting rollercoaster of a mind. I got pregnant and he stayed, telling me he would take care of us and never leave. Well, what it turned out to be was him out partying and being gone for days straight without talking to me. I was still naive and didnt know who he really was, honestly we didnt plan on having a baby and our lives were already downhill. So for since i was pregnant its been this way with him. When we talk it gets worse and we have had a few big fights in the past over him not being here for us, for his son.
Fast forward to yesterday. He has been gone for two days "making money" with his good ol' friends that i trust the slightest bit. I had to call his friend to talk to him otherwise he wouldve gone the whole time without checking up on our son and I. I broke down and told him i cant do this i am so alone i need you here, i need help. so he tells me "go make friends, stop thinking the way you do, maybe i should have moved out a long time ago". Ive been crying all night and havent slept. I dont know what to do anymore, what am i doing wrong? I feel like he is ashamed of me, he never shows me off, invites me anywhere or takes his son out, nothing. And all i am doing is trying to not be depressed and keep our family together. But now im thinking if theres someone else cause hes been flirting with a girl he knows and hes been lying to my face about where he goes or plain wont say anything and smiles when i cry to him cause he thinks its funny i think that way. I give up. he is all i have and it makes me want to give up. I cant do this to my son, i need help. I cant make friends easily, when my depression pushed everyone away. My family will help but they cant be my friends cause its a difficult relationship. What do i do?? Im so desperate i have no one, i want to be happy and live life but i cant even eat :(

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