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MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Ev - posted on 10/15/2015

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Are you married to your partner? If not, I would think twice about this relationship. He is coming from a state of being married to a widower. He has two children with him too. He is still missing his wife and the kids are missing their mother still. I do not know how long you have been in the picture nor did you say how long it was after he lost his wife that you two got involved and you met the kids. Mourning someone close to you takes a lot of time to work through. People mourn in many ways and sometimes they need counseling. It sounds like they need that in order to move on. His not wanting to bring another child in the world is not uncommon but it depends on the real reasons underlying in the situation. I think you guys would benefit from counseling and if he still is going to act the way you have described, I think you might want to release yourself from this and move on.

Jodi - posted on 10/15/2015

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It sounds to me like his family could use some family counselling if they are unable to move on. This is definitely not a healthy situation to bring another child into.

Sarah - posted on 10/15/2015

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Sounds like there are bigger issues then adding a baby into the situation, which will only add even more issues. Instead of adding more issues and making it worse why not focus on the issues at hand and make what you already have better. Honestly, if you have a child good chances are that you will be a single parent and in the end the child is the one that suffers.

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Jodi - posted on 10/16/2015

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Just out of interest, if he decided to end the relationship with you, would you still go ahead and have this child you want?

Dove - posted on 10/16/2015

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So... w/ all the advice to not bring a child into this situation and advice to seek counseling.... you are still just going to do whatever w/out TAKING the guidance/advice that you asked for?

Dove - posted on 10/15/2015

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There is no way in the world I would bring another child into this situation.... ever.

Jodi - posted on 10/15/2015

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Why would you embark on a journey with a man who doesn't want to have another child if you want a child of your own?

I must admit, I do find this bizarre. However, I also believe that if he is making this choice, and indicating that he will not support the child (that you must) then it is unlikely that he will embrace the child as he will his other children, and this is unfair to the child. This is not an issue of bringing a child into a blended family where the mother dies....it is an issue of bringing a child into a blended family where one of the parties involved is not actually really wanting the child, or wanting to parent the child.

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