Angiecann - posted on 07/01/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )
My husband and two daughters invited my mother in law to move in with us after her husband died. We had to admit her to the psychiatric hospital because she was having major problems. When she came out. We mare our daughters share a room so that my MIL could move in, (with her dog and cat). Mind you we are not pet people.
We cleared out a drawer in the bathroom, and tried to make her feel as welcome as possible.
I helped her get an income coming in. She then had enough money to move out on her own but didn't want to live by herself. Living with her has been inconvenient, but not too bad. She was very helpful with the kids watching them whenever needed.
In two years she and I butt heads because my husband and I was working full time and I expected her to do house work and start helping out with grocery bills. She also started parenting my kids with anger. I do have two daughters and one of them is almost a teenager. So I know how difficult they can be at times. BUT, grandma needs to be grandma and not yell and belittle my kids. And my husband and I kept telling my daughters to respect there grandma and love her.
We laid out boundaries, and told her that she cannot discipline our kids and she didnt babysit anymore. She did not respect our boundaries and my daughter started to resent her, and it was causing harm to our family dynamic. We no longer had a peaceful home. And my daughter started having self-esteem issues.
We told my MIL again about the boundaries and decided to build her a detatched room in the backyard instead of kicking her out. Things were better for about 2 months. She then was no longer able to be alone with my kids. She still found times to tell the kids what to do and argue with them. Now it has been almost 6 years and things are just getting worse and worse. I know I'm not perfect and I can let things go and forgive her but it's time for her to move out. Past time.
My husband told her it was time and she complained to him and said she just doesn't like me. She says I'm the ungrateful one. And now she is ignoring me or just being disrespectful. I want to be able to move past this issue and restore our relationship for the sake of my family but I'm not sure how to go about it. My kids love they're grandma and I know she loves them too. Please help.