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Amanda - posted on 04/16/2012
First off congrats on choosing to breastfeed. Second if you know hes the father then just put his name down on the birth certificate, dont waste the courts time. As for over night visits, I dont see how any judge would force an over night visit to any child under the age of 1 breastfeeding or not. For all you know he may want nothing to do with the child after the new born smell is off him/her.
I don't know where you are or what the laws are there, but I wouldn't worry too much about overnights, especially if you breastfeed, and if you have concerns about the baby's well being in his care. When my husband went to court for visitation with his daughter his ex asked for no over night visits for no reason other than she doesn't like ME, and it was granted. SD has never been mistreated, neglected, or endangered in any way while at our home. In fact, when she was a newborn baby my husband's ex INSISTED on overnights so she could get a good nights sleep without the baby. It was only after I called her out on a lie that she suddenly claimed it "wasn't good for the baby" to be around me as much and shouldn't be here over night. Haha! But I say all that to say this: The child had spent many nights here and was fine and never minded it, the ex had no real reason to request no overnights and the judge still granted her request simply because it's what she wanted. So if you actually have real concerns I can't imagine the judge wouldn't take that into consideration. Just make sure you are very clear about your concerns in court. And if your ex WANTS to be involved, I'd do what I can to facilitate that. Maybe ask for supervised visits until he proves he's capable of caring for the baby sufficiently?? You can even ask the judge to require him to take a parenting class. I know lots of people who have that in the court agreement, and I think it's a great idea. Because whether you like it or not, if he takes you to court he will be granted some sort of visitation and if you ask him to take a parenting class then at least you know he will be educated on caring for the child!
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