rights

Dominique - posted on 04/08/2015 ( 19 moms have responded )

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My daughter is almost 5 and her father has not been consistently active in her life. He has seen her 6 times since we broke up 4 years ago. And has not been paying child support until last month. He all of a sudden wants to have my daughter on weekends. Legally is he entitled to visitation? His lifestyle is not good for being a dad to a little girl!

19 Comments

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River - posted on 04/13/2015

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Child support and visitation are two totally seperate things. You can't deny visitation if he fails to pay and he can't refuse to pay because you deny visitation. That being said he is the father and has as much right to the child as you do. Maybe offer him to take the child for a couple hours a few times a week. Then after a few weeks start letting him do overnights. But if the judge says he gets overnights and you refuse those then he can take you to court for alienation and you can be in a lot of trouble.

Ev - posted on 04/12/2015

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I have to agree with the others, the man is entitled to rights to see his daughter too. Just because you gave birth does not mean she is yours only. You both contributed to the conception of this child. What makes him such a bad dad? Have you given him any chance to see his daughter. He may not have been around much but maybe he has changed his mind since he stopped coming around. And when you say he just started to pay support, is that court ordered or just on his own? You know if you deny him access to see his daughter, you could end up being taken to court for alienation.

Mariah - posted on 04/12/2015

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Get a lawyer and see what you can do. Do not listen to those who are saying just let her go with him without any further investigation. Not trying to sound rude but your daughter doesn't really know this man and who knows what she will be exposed to. He IS legally entitled but get a lawyer or try and see about drug testing, inspections, supervised visitation, etc. Best wishes for you all ! Remember, well being of your child and her safety is what everything revolves around. ♥

Jtb - posted on 04/11/2015

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Dominique, you have every reason to be concerned about your daughter. I don't understand why some of you are telling her to let her child go with him. I wouldn't trust my child girl or boy with a man that have showed so little interest. I definitely would not have my child staying in the house with another unknown male around. You have rights Dominique, let the judge know you feel for your daughter's safety. Most judges can't stand deadbeat dads. Let the judge know he have a roommate you know nothing about and you don't want your daughter around. Trust me he will not be allowed to have guy around your daughter or have to get a place of his own. A tiger rarely changes his stripes and believe me he's not going to want to pay child support on a regular basis.

River - posted on 04/10/2015

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How do you really know that he does drugs? Some people do change. Hopefully for her sake, he's changed and no longer does them. If the court order says he gets overnights you'll have no choice but to abide by it. Hope everything works out though

Sarah - posted on 04/09/2015

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The best you can try to do is make sure he is safe. Ask the court for you both to be drug tested and have home inspections done. If he has a male roommate, then he may not get overnight visitation. The thing is, you have to abide by the rules and just because you are her mom, you can't just say he can't see her. No matter how much you don't like it, he is her father. Ideally, you want her to have a healthy relationship with he father.

Jodi - posted on 04/09/2015

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Have you got proof he does drugs and would be a danger to the child? If not, then, sorry, it is likely he will get overnights. Otherwise, you could petition for supervised limited visitation.

River - posted on 04/09/2015

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It's pretty difficult to convince a judge that someone's kid shouldn't be around them. I don't know what state you are from, but in a lot of states the non custodial parent gets every other weekend 48 hours and once a week for a set amount of time. You can't deny visitation. If you feel the visits are not good for the child then you have to go through the court system and give the judge a good reason and even then it's hard to get that done. He does have every right to be in his child's life. By denying these visits and saying no overnights, it makes you come off as controlling. That could go against you in court. My fiance has a son and the child's mom tried to tell the judge she didn't want him having overnights. The judge basically told her too bad and that she can't control the situation all the time. I'm not saying you're controlling. But you could accidentally make it seem that way. Be very careful. Don't make any accusations without having proof. If you tell the judge he's on drugs and he tests clean then it'll make you look bad.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/09/2015

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Actually, if you deny him access without going to court, he could petition custody, gain custody, and put you in his place with no access. Whether or not you do drugs is not the question here. The question was: If you were in his place (non custodial parent who was being refused access to their child), how would you feel? You'd be pissed off, and you'd petition to get it changed.

That was not a character judgment, my dear ms. Matthews, that was telling you to put yourself in the other person's place for a moment.

Simple answer: Yes, LEGALLY he's entitled to visitation. He's entitled to partial custody, actually, physical as well as legal, by virtue of his DNA combined with yours. He's as legally entitled as you are.

Dominique - posted on 04/09/2015

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I would not like overnight visits because her father has drug problems now and has a short attention span sometimes. My daughter is very active. He lives with another guy I do not know and I'm over protective because I was molested by my dad. I need him to make sure nothing happens to her. The only person my daughter has stayed with overnight is my mom

Dominique - posted on 04/09/2015

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I am an adult. The roles would never be reversed because I take care of my child and I dont use drugs. You don't know the situation or anything you simply answer the question by saying yes he has rights. Don't judge my character ma'am thanks.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/09/2015

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Hes as entitled to have a relationship with his daughter as you are. Support and visitation are separate issues. If you don't have support orders in place, get some, but regardless of that, you don't have the right to determine whether or not he has access to the child.

So, you go ahead and 'refuse' all you want. Then, be prepared to abide by court orders. If the courts determine that he is fit for overnights, so be it. How would YOU feel if the situation were reversed? Pretty pissed. Be the adult.

Jodi - posted on 04/09/2015

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You won't get to make that choice. By all means, you can tell the court you don't want overnight visits, but if you come across as wanting to control the relationship between daughter and dad too much, it may bite you on the bum. It won't end up being up to you. The judge will decide, and it is highly possible he will get overnights.

Can I ask why you don't want overnight visits?

Dominique - posted on 04/08/2015

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Thank you we haven't went to court yet but I just don't want over night visits.

Dove - posted on 04/08/2015

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Oh... and he owes over $32,000 in support. Child support and visitation are completely separate issues.

Dove - posted on 04/08/2015

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Yes... he is her father and they both have a right to a relationship w/ each other. Now... exactly what type of visitation he would get... no one can predict, but there needs to be a court order for custody and visitation... if there is that... he is entitled to whatever it says.

My son is 7 years old and has spent a grand total of 3 months of his life w/ his father... and his father is still entitled to any of his court ordered visitation that he chooses to take... even though it's been almost 2 years since the last time he saw the kids.

Michelle - posted on 04/08/2015

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You can't make that choice. A judge will decide that.
If you refuse when he asks then it will go against you in court. Be very careful before you have everything in writing.

Dominique - posted on 04/08/2015

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Well I refuse to let my daughter stay overnight with him and I will be going to court thank you

Michelle - posted on 04/08/2015

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Of course he is entitled to visitation. He has as much right as you do since he is her Father.
Do you not have any court orders in place? If not I suggest you get yourself a lawyer and go to court to sort out visitation.
Child support is a completely different issue and you can't deny him seeing his child because he hasn't paid.

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