rights as my husband's (second) wife and my childs mother regarding in-laws and ex-wife

Laura - posted on 01/05/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )




I have asked and told my in-laws that I do not want there to be any interaction between my children and my husband's ex-wife. She is still invited to family dinners, and in which cases we decline the invite. I thought my wishes were clear, since there is no reason to have continued contact or reason as to why she should know, recognize or be familiar with my family, just because she has difficulty letting go.

My in-laws were watching the baby, and when we pulled up to pick her up, to our surprise the ex was also there. I am furious. This wife had made incredibly rude comments to me in the past and made statements regarding if we had children she doesn't know what she would do. She continues to receive in depth psychiatric help, and i feel that not only as a mother, wife and protector i have the right to say who i want to interact with. Especially when there is no positives thar come and no reason for an ex wife to interact with my children. Anyone else in a similar situation?


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~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/05/2015




If you are not wanting your children to have any contact with the ex (you are being extremely difficult and jealous) then don't have your in laws watch your kids.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/05/2015




You cannot dictate to adults who they may or may not associate with. You cannot choose who others interact with, and you most definitely have no right to demand that they cease interacting with someone just because you don't like them.

Your choices in this situation are to not allow your inlaws to interact with your children. Make sure you and your husband are in agreement before you take that step, however.

If your husband has children with the ex, you really are going to need to grow up about the situation as a whole.

Ev - posted on 01/05/2015




I have to agree with the other ladies on this. The in laws did not marry you, your husband did. And you can not dictate to them who they see or not see in their own home. It is childish to act this way. If you do not want to be around her or have the kids around her then do not go. But if you let them babysit and she drops by all of a sudden, they would not have known she was coming. Get over it. If this woman has kids with your husband, she is going to be in the picture for the next several years because of the kids anyway so get used to that too. Also if she has a good relationship with his parents, why does she not have the right to visit with them. I have a good relationship with my former mother in law.

Jodi - posted on 01/05/2015




I agree with Michelle, you can't dictate who the in-laws associate with. I'm assuming the ex and your husband have a child together and this is why they still have a relationship with her? Yes, you absolutely have the right to decide who YOU want to interact with, but you don't have the right to make that decision for your in-laws.

My in-laws still have a very close relationship with my husband's ex (and I don't particularly get along with her, although I don't NOT get along with her either) and they've been apart for about 20 years. She still calls them mum and dad, she still sees them as the only parents she ever really had. I have chosen to brush it off - after all, I am the one he married and chooses to be with. I am the daughter-in-law. I am the one who makes their son happy. Why waste your energy fighting it? Someone has to be a bigger person.

Michelle - posted on 01/05/2015




You can't dictate who your in laws have around to their house at any given time. If you don't want her around your children then don't leave your children at your in laws.
It's very hard on the children if all the adults in their lives don't get along so maybe you should think about how your actions are affecting them.

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