rude 17 year old gir takes everything out on mom

Bonnie - posted on 10/09/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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How do i handle a rude 17 year old that takes all her pressure at school out on me?

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J - posted on 10/09/2013

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Look into anger management. Get her some counseling (with a female counselor)... tell the counselor (in private) when making the appointment and in a parent/counselor consult that your goal in counseling is that she be taught some anger management skills. It seems as though she either does not know how to deal with her stress, or does not want to. Either way it will benefit not only you, but her for her to learn anger management skills. You don't want her snapping at everybody around her for the rest of her life. She would never have healthy relationships like that. But don't tell her she is going to counseling for anger management. Ask the counselor to not use those words with her (they will want to but just ask them to word it in a way that does not sound like "anger management"). If she gets the idea she is going to counseling for "anger management", she will rebel. If she rebels she will shut down and she will not get the help she needs. Tell her you realize being 17 is a great age and you would like to take her to counseling so that she can ask any questions she may not want to ask you, or that you realize while it is a great age it can be tough and you want her to have someone to talk to. That way she will remain open and willing so that she can be helped. If you make sure the counselor understands this, and tell her this is what you have told your daughter about counseling, stressing that the counselor not use the words "anger management", or "trouble with your mom", etc, then the counselor will know that you are trying to get help for your daughter for anger management, neither of you have to say those words to your daughter so she won't rebel or shut down, and the counselor will still be able to help her by using different wording...the problem will eventually come out, and a good counselor will be able to help your daughter. This will help preserve you and your daughter's relationship, and help her with future relationships.

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