Sad beyond belief

Pauline - posted on 05/18/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My son moved to Canada 8 years ago to see a girl he met online and he never came home to Australia. He became a canadian citizen and decided he hated everything about Australia . At first he called me everyweek and was enthusiastic about us coming to visit and we agreed we would . When he broke up with his girlfriend he moved in with some friends and gradually shut down all communications with his family . I havent been able to see him for eight years . He has blocked all communication . I can only write to him . I have sent numerous messages , cards , songs and apologised for the effects of my husband and i's divorce when he was fourteen. His dad and I remain good friends and he has blocked his dad too . I have two other sons that I have a very good relationship with and they are distressed at the pain my oldest son is causing me . No Mothers Day message , birthday messages or Christmas messages for years . I sent him a cheque last year to help him and explained that i had bought things for his brothers and i wanted all my sons to feel equal . Little response . Its going on two years now since I had any real communication and my heart is broken . Feel like im slowly dying inside and afraid to go and visit because he shows no interest in seeig us . Have offered to fly myself and his brothers over to Canada but no response . Its like he has died and im mourning the loss of my oldest son . Cant spend the rest of my life feelig like this . I wasnt a perfect mum but he was always loved and never abused 😢😔😢

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Raye - posted on 05/19/2016

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Your son is an adult, and he is making his own decisions. Isn't that what you raised him for? I understand that it hurts that he has shut out his family. And I understand that it causes more heartache and stress to not even know if he's ok. But you should not let it ruin your life. The more you try to reel him in, the more he may want to stay away. Continue to let him know you love him, but you should also let him know you realize he's an adult and in control of his own life.

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