Sad Mom.. I left my baby girl with her grandparents in another country.. Words of wisdom Please!

[deleted account] ( 12 moms have responded )

I live in Canada but I am originally from South America, and for christmas my baby daughter and I went visiting. Once my time was coming up, I decided that I would leave my daughter with my parents for a month or so... She loves them, and she seems to be doing fine, they said that she seems a little down, but she is not crying, she is going to daycare to play with other kids part time, eating and sleeping good! Today is the first day she is without me, and I am without her.. I am heartbroken even though I know she couldnt be in better hands... Any of you have left your baby with someone else for some weeks while you traveled or for other reasons?? is she going to think I abandoned her? I made sure I said good bye to her and I explained that I was coming to see Daddy and the puppy and that we were goign to see eachother on the web cam, she kept on saying yes, cried a minute while I left and since then she hasnt seen me, This was yesterday Jan 19. Please give me some advise and words of wisdom... I love my daughter so much, so If one of you think that I am a heartless mom, dont reply as I am feeling very homesick for her right now!



Thank you so much

12 Comments

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Swwisa - posted on 11/03/2014

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hi I want to send my 9months girl with my mother in law to another country . I live in Canada and I want to ask you did they will ask her about something?? like pepper that the girl is her child's son?? I really need to send my child but I don't know if it is allowed or not her in Canada please answer me areeaalyy need it ???,,,,,,


Thanks

[deleted account]

Thank you so much for all your words... It makes me feel so much better, from your experiences and support... I know she is in great hands and they sure can give her lots of love!!

Thank you again so so much :) and I did already told my husband he gotta take me to the movies and to eat every time we can, becuase it is crazy how many things we stopped doing since she was born

Monica - posted on 01/20/2009

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She will not think that you abandoned her because she in good hands. Make sure you take care of whatever business is keeping you apart and remember that you will see her very soon. If she is as little as the picture, she may not completely understand. Take care of yourself and be back for her as soon as you can.

Susan - posted on 01/20/2009

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Be sure to be positive when you are on the webcam. Your daughter will pick up on your emotions like a sponge. Send her postcards, call her, let her know you are still "there" for her. As for you, just stay busy. Try writing your activities down in a little journal, then you can share them with her after you are reunited. - susan

RyanJessica - posted on 01/20/2009

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God bless your aching heart, Diana...I don't know how I would do it, if I had to... I'm sure the bonding she is getting with her grandparents is priceless, so from that point of view, maybe you can find some comfort...I know you must be anxious to see her again...fire up that webcam and talk to her as constantly as you can! It will make you feel a little better and it will show her that you are present and that you are coming to get her real soon! God bless you as you wait, though! :0)

Sheryl - posted on 01/20/2009

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I left my son this past summer with my sister and my mother for 8 weeks. It was the first time since he was born that I had been gone from him. He has several medical issues that have required 9 different surgeries and I used that time for myself. I still went to work, but I also took myself on a vacation with my best friend. We had the time of our lives.



The first week was definitely the hardest. I didn't know what to do with myself. Noone else to get up, dressed and fed. No toys to pick up, but then I realized that he was having the time of his life. I talked to him everynight at bedtime on my webcam. It was a special time for him as well as me. When the time came for me to pick him up at the airport after those 8 weeks, we appreciated each other so much more. I had more patience with him and he just wanted to be with me 24/7. I am planning on doing it again this summer for about 4 weeks. My advise to you is to go get your hair done, go out to dinner. Enjoy this time and look at it as a time of revival for you. You will appreciate this time alone.

Michelle - posted on 01/20/2009

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i grew up going to germany every summer for three months.. was sad to leave, but appreciate the experience now that i'm older.. as for my parents while I was away.. lets just say: when the cat's away, the mice come out to play. :) enjoy your time, do things you normally don't get to when you have your daughter (go to the movies, go out at night without paying for a babysitter, drink a bottle of wine without feeling responsible for a little one..) :) Hope this helps.

Alison - posted on 01/20/2009

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Its very difficult to leave your child with anyone for more than a couple of hours so this is very normal. I think you are very brave to try to do such an extended visit away from home. She will get used to the difference but you may find the transition both to a time with her there and when she comes home a trial. Keeping in touch frequently over the webcam is a great idea.

Chelsea - posted on 01/20/2009

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I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time. I've never left my kids with anyone, but I've never needed to, either. I can imagine how hard it must be. I don't have words of wisdom, I just wanted to offer some support :)

Ande - posted on 01/20/2009

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If you are doing what you feel is in the best interest of your daughter, then you are to be commended.  Not all parents have that courage to separate from their kids or are lucky enough to have family members who are willing to help care for them.  I work outside the home, and occasionally have to travel for business, and while it pains me to hear their voices on the phone and not be able to tuck them into bed, I also know that I'll get an extra big hug when I see them again.  You don't mention how old your daughter is, but kids are smart and resilient, and she won't think you abandoned her if you stay in touch by webcam or phone or even send a card with a personal note.  If you stay positive, she'll pick up on your tone and emulate it.  Be strong, you'll make it!  Good luck!

Kalyn - posted on 01/20/2009

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As long as you know she is in good hands, try to stay strong.  Also, it is good for you to take the time you need.  Obviously you have your reasons for leaving her for a little while, I would never judge you.  Being a mother is a difficult thing.  I have twin boys age 6 1/2 and I have left them for only 1-2 weeks.  One does not want to be away from us so was difficult on him, the other had a blast.  It was harder on mommy than it was on him.  Your daughter loves you and will not feel abandoned.  Just make sure you talk with her often.  You are a strong person!  She will be fine!

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