Sahm - finances

Barbara - posted on 03/04/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi I'm a sahm and my husband and I are having issues regarding who pays what. Would like some advice on what u'd think. I bring in £900 a month from benefits which in turn pays for basic bills like contact lenses,mobile phone, home phone, life insurances, tv but also pay credit cards, store card and loan which are all related to both of us. I try to pay for kids dinners,clothes etc as well but he says this isn't enough and that he's providing for everything and I'm not contributing at all. Am I doing enough?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/04/2014

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2014

My marriage works like this: we have a joint account, all money goes into the joint account, all bills and purchases are made out of the joint account.

"my money/your money" works great if you're room mates, but not if you're parents.

So, to actually give you an answer, you contribute £900, what does he bring in? Out of that combined income, what is the monthly outlay for everything? This is everything that you purchase/pay for plus everything he purchases/pays for.

For his information, the STAY HOME part means that, in addition to being readily available to the children, and himself, if necessary, you are saving on childcare costs, after school care, child minders...etc.

You can also remind him that some of the things you're paying are redundant. If you have mobile phones, you do not need a landline, unless for emergency services. Credit cards, telly, are not necessary for survival, and can be cut. Dinners out, again, not necessary (a nice variant, but not a necessity)...

So, look at it that way. What he 'brings' vs what you bring, what he pays vs what you pay, and where can you knock out some of the unnecessary expenses.

Michelle - posted on 03/04/2014

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That's a lot more than other SAHM's get that don't have benefits.
A marriage shouldn't be a "Ipay this and you pay that" situation. It should be household money and then pay all the expenses.

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