Santa....Real or Fake? I made a huge mistake!

Anne - posted on 12/16/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I'm going to try & make this very long story as sorry as possible. My daughter demanded I tell her the truth about Santa is he real or Fake Mom, & don't lie to me!?! My.husband made me promise him last year that if she asked me this year I would tell her the truth. So I told her the entire back story starting with the birth of Jesus onto Kris Kringle and ended with...is there an actual physical Santa that we can see & touch...no. Santa lives in our hearts, he is the spirit of Christmas & it is up to us to keep the spirit alive. She started to cry she was devastated! From that moment on she didn't want to talk about it. Then 3 weeks later she asked if we could go see Santa. I take her and it just so happens I know the lady that is the Manager of Santa's Workshop in our mall. I slipped her my number & told her that I have to know what she told Santa. She text me & said "your daughter said all she wants for Christmas is to believe Santa is real". Help Me Please!!!!! Tell me how I can fix this huge mistake. I don't want to completely back track and undo what's already done. But I want to make her happy.

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Rebekah - posted on 12/16/2013

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How old is your daughter? If she came to you with the question, then I have to think that part of her was already suspecting that Santa wasn't real. And if she came to you demanding the truth, then I think you did the right thing by giving it to her...and your explanation of it was a good one.

Unfortunately, the truth was hard for her to hear, but I really don't think you made a major mistake. I think some kids take it harder than others when they hear the truth. But if she wishes to continue on with the fantasy (going to see Santa at the mall, enjoy the Santa stories on tv, whatever), what is the harm in a bit of pretend? She knows the truth now, so if she wants to initiate it to make it last a little longer, I don't think that's such a problem. I wouldn't back track now, though, and tell her that he is real... that would be super confusing (especially if she's younger), and then she might really doubt if she can get the truth from you.

She will get past this. As she adjusts to the idea, maybe she'd like to actually take the role of "Santa" herself and participate in a "secret" gift giving activity... like filling a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child, or helping to pick out a gift for a child from "Angel Tree" (not sure if that's in your area...its toys/items for an underprivileged child local to you) or even delivering items from a wish list for a local homeless shelter or animal shelter. There are a lot of ways to give, and maybe she can capture a new source of joy in being part of making someone else's day. Meanwhile, assure her that presents will still come (is she afraid the presents will stop coming because she no longer believes in Santa?) and that there will be plenty of surprises under the tree.

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