Tina - posted on 05/17/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )
I'm Tina and I have an eleven-year old daughter who just entered sixth grade, Finn. I'm a bit worried about her social life. She is very sarcastic and doesn't seem to relate to other girls her age. She isn't worried about cliques or fitting-in - she finds it all rather stupid and unnecessary. She seems to have no friends.
A while back, in fourth grade, she was severely bullied for about a month. We have since sorted out the issues and changed schools. She is quite a bright girl who dreams of being a writer. She excels in all subjects at school apart from Music and P.E.
All her teachers love her, and she isn't being bullied by anyone. She has two friends, and is only friends with them because I asked her to make friends - they are two boys who seem to be friendly and almost as clever as her. One of them seems to have a crush on her, but she hasn't seemed to realise yet.
She thinks all the cliques and peer pressure and popularity is stupid, and is overly cynical and somewhat mean towards the other girls in her grade, calling them stupid airheads. She doesn't make fun of them, however always complains about them and actively avoids them.
She is very confident and comfortable in her own skin, and isn't shy to share things. She doesn't seem to care about her only friends being guys and is fairly blunt towards them. I have spoken to the boys' mothers who both say that their boys are happy enough to hang out with her, but there have been some awkward questions due to Finn's bluntness - e.g the boys asking 'I think Finn's sick. I'm worried - she said she was bleeding from her private part' (yes, she's started her period).
She is actually quite respected by the rest of her grade - they don't seem to talk behind her back or make fun of her at all. She can be quite dominating and I was talking to my friend Lizzie - who has a daughter in Finn's grade - and Lizzie reported that Finn 'can make Kasey's (Lizzie's daughter) quite scared.' Finn will always go to social occasions at school, e.g discos, but hangs out the back with the boys and never really goes inside and dances (I sometimes chaperone the discos'.
She is a massive bookworm and doesn't seem to be overly violent or anything. I'm just worried her social skills aren't developing properly because she doesn't seem to ever want things most girls want - she rolls her eyes at my love of shopping, hates dresses, point-blank refuses to wear make-up or lip balm and shrugs popularity, cliques and the social hierarchy off as stupid. I can't connect to her very well - she's the opposite of what I was when I was young - but I still want to make sure we have a close relationship. Any ideas?